Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Poetry Night Speech


I was told that I have two minutes, and the clock is ticking. So much I want to say, so little time to say it in, so all I will say is this: thank you. Thank you Mr. T, for you were my first teacher, and taught me to read. Thank you Ms. Newberry, who taught me that’s it’s not all about me. Thank you Mrs. T, who taught me how to be quiet, and thank you Mrs. Smith, who taught me how to write. Also thank you to Ms. Shay, who taught me to tie my shoes, and thank you Ms. Mitchell, who taught me how to be polite. Thank you Mrs. Iacoi who taught me how to draw, and Ms. Martin, who taught me to sing. I want to thank Ms. Williams, who taught me how to dance, and Ms. Davis, who taught me how to play. Thank you also Ms. Crawford, who taught me math, and how drive, and also to Ms. David, who taught me of the world. Thank you Ms.Raf, who taught me that chocolate is a vegetable, and also to Mrs. Mortrude, who taught me what words are good words to write with. Thank you Ms. Cogan, who taught me that you cant make a triangle with two right angles no matter how hard you try, and thanks to Ms. Bennet, who taught me about electricity. Thank you Mr. D for you taught me about sports and staying fit, and thank you Mrs. Lozis, who taught me how to sing in a group. Thank you about Ms. Long, who taught me the history of our country, and thank you Ms. Pattenden, who taught me about Earth. Thank you Ms. Roper, who taught me how to make a good sentence, and thank you Mr. Brown, who taught me about ancient history, and Ms. Rice who taught me about Latin. Thank you Mrs. Call, who taught me about the environment, and also to Dok, who taught me how to build a building. Thank you Mr. Mitchell, who taught me how to study, and thank you to Ms. Owen, who taught me how to graph. Thank you Mr. Dolfin, who taught me Spanish as well as football, and to Madame Halburg for, even though I never had you, you taught my classmates French. Mr. Williams who took care of me in Honduras as well as Zack in Japan, And thank you Mr. Salsich, for you have lifted me off the ground, and taught me how to write an essay. Thank you Mr. Hannon, who taught me about business, as well as Mr. Cruthers, who taught me about the real high five. Thank you Mrs. Maureen, who taught me how to deliverer a message, and thank you Mr. Ringer, who taught me when it is right to make a good joke. Thank you Ms. Abbiati, who taught me to cook, and thank you Mr. Hurtgen, who taught me how to lead. Thank you nurse Sharon who kept me healthy. Thank you mom and dad, for you have taken me through thick and thin, keeping my ankles dry as you wade through the marsh. Thank you Zack, who broke the ice thousand times before me. Thank you friends who made me laugh when I was down. Thank you Mr. Guise, for you saw me through these 12 years. Thank you teachers, who made me how I am, and thank you Pine Point, for being who you are.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Graduation Poem-2

There is joy in my eye
But there is also sadness
Here in my eye at this moment
For now I say "later"
Now I leave forever
But my spirit shall live on

My life shall stay, my word I swear on
See the truth in the glint of my eye
That I intend to stay forever
As to keep away the sadness
Eventually, I will fade, but later
for I shall stay at this moment

When I disappear one moment
I, you must not give up on
For I shall return, later
I shall be gone, for just the blink of an eye
So do not be sad
For nothing is forever

I will live on with this school forever
Until the moment
When all the world tumbles over, then be sad
Memories of us shall always live on
The memories of you and I.
As the sun sets, time getting later and later.

My time goes late
The time I thought would last forever
But maybe I
Wasted all these moments
Maybe I will have nothing to look back on
But what a fate that would be, so sad.

But I know my past will not be sad,
I know it will not just be the later
I know Pine Point will live on,
For I have friends that last forever
And far behond this moment
As strong and calm, as the nights eye

When I look back on my memories, I will not be sad.
I will not fade, my time is later.
My time is forever, not just this moment.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Graduation Poem-1

Ben’jamin Dameron

The End:

I can’t believe its over; I watched the whole thing through,
Ten years fade, as I approach the immanent the epic end.
I am not leaving any friends, I am leaving family.
But I must know if I do in fact stay here
I want to know if I will see tears of blue
If this really is the last goodbye

How painful it is to say goodbye
To say it, the whole word through
I watch, I my mood will soon turn blue,
When I say goodbye at the end.
I will say it here
Here I say goodbye to my family

I say my family
I say “goodbye”
In the lonely month of June I say it here
The bad times as well as the good you have brought me through
But I must say goodbye, because I know it’s the end
And the tears will fall, pure and blue.

But let there be hope, for we do not melt with the tears of blue
As I look upon you all, my family
And I see the love, and no its not the final end
The end must begin with goodbye
In thick and thin we must still travel through
And it all starts today, here

I know goodbye is not what you want to hear
You do not want to be sad and blue
These hard times you do not want to go through
You do not want to leave your family
But that not what it is about: “goodbye”
It is about what happened in the beginning and what will happen, but not the end

When you lay helpless and dying in a land beyond ours, that is the end
But simply saying goodbye here?
It is just a effortless word “goodbye”
As simple as the word blue
No, we will stay together as a family
And this world we will go through

I say goodbye, but only to this stories end
Through many more stories we see, though maybe not here
There is no need to be blue, for we say not goodbye, for we are all family

Monday, April 25, 2011

Final Project

Mr. H Salsich
English 9

Dear Reader,

What you are about to read is the outcome of two long and hard years of English Class. I had just over a month to work on this paper, so you can expect it to be perfect. This essay is about a topic that I actually feel very strongly about: the strength of spirit. I will not say anymore on that topic as to keep the discussion to my essay. This is however a multigenre essay, meaning that I will be writing in four different genres not including a standard eleven sentence paragraph. In this essay, I will discuss the strength of spirit throughout history including from William Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar and in A Tale of Two Cities. I will use examples displaying strength of spirit from leaders such as Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, and some others. I hope you enjoy this piece of work, for this is my last essay I will write at Pine Point after ten years. Thank you.

Ben’jamin Dameron

Strength of Spirit is the basis of all life. Everything we want to do, whether we do it or not, is determined by our strength of spirit. We have complete control of everything we do in life, and whether we want to do it or not. Then it is up to our will if we want to do it; this is our body, our mind, our life, we make the decisions. Some people do have more spirit than others. Not all minds are the same, and this is what makes us unique, and it is the mind that controls the will. As long as we are unique, we will differ in everyway, including our strength of spirit. If you are not making decisions, you are not living, and this is all based on our strength of spirit. If we are not making decisions, what are we doing, we are just auto pilot, not thinking, just registering, and responding without any thought process. As long as we are in some sort of contact withProxy-Connection: keep-alive
Cache-Control: max-age=0

he world, and we are ever thinking about what we are in contact with, we are using our will do make decisions, and then living the life.

You can lock me up,
Put me away,
Shut me up,
Or keep me at bay.
Treat me as a pup,
Treat me ill for a day

But I won’t stop
Put me behind walls
Call in the cop
Shoot me with balls
But my dreams you will not chop

For my strength is greater
Than any iron sword
And my will is straighter
Than any thick iron cord

So don’t try to slow me down
You’ll only hurt yourself
Make you look like a clown
You’ll look small as an elf

For my strength of spirit
Is wise and mighty
Don’t you hear it
It is the sound of the almighty

A Letter Home

Dear Mother,
My situation grows worse by the hour. I have no idea how I am going to be able to continue to cope with the magnitude of my condition. My vision is fogged and smudged like finger prints on eye glasses, and I am having an increasing problem seeing my way to the end. I no longer see the path I should take, I simply feel it. But do not worry about me, I am ok, for you can not see your strength of spirit, yet you know its there. I can not see the dark black road below my feet, or the yellow line that carves into the shadows of the future, yet I know it is there.

Mother, you must write back quickly because I know not what to do. I am not strong enough to face the villains, my fears, behind me, but I am strong enough to plunge into the dark pool of blackness in front of my eyes, yet, I do not know what will become of me if I continue to wade through the smog and muck of this challenge. I try to get help, from truck drivers going by, but they do not see me, they see only a coward, a small boy running from the dark. They do not know me, if they knew me, they would know I am running from the light, running from what I know, then only thing I know. The dark has promised me a new beginning, but know not whether I can trust the dark, for I know it has a tendency to lie, to lure you in with fake pledges, only to close his sharp jaws on your shoelace, and you can not escape, so you and your shoe are stuck forever. But I fear what I left more than I fear the dark, more than I fear being cold, and being hurt. I fear being alone more than being surrounded by creatures that want to hurt me. I need to know what to do. I can’t continue on like this, but I dare not turn my eyes. As I stare forward, I forget, and my troubles are not but stone statues, locked in the rays of the sun, but the second I turn, they become weeping angles, ready to snap my neck the moment I blink, yet I shall forget them the second I turn my back. I am scared to see their faces, the faces of my fears, but I know that if I keep walking into the unknown, I shall see them come out of the dark. Please mother please, tell me what to do, for I lack the will to make a decision. You have always been strong with spirit, and know what to do, so please, be my flame, and guide me through the dark.

Your Son

Strength of spirit is all about our thoughts on what is morally correct. The spirit is what we believe to be morally correct, and the strength is how strongly we believe in it. Someone who has no moral beliefs has absolutely no strength of spirit. It is not an simple stream of endless strength that we choose to use or not, it is a complicated analysis on events and our thoughts on if those events are just and then how we react to the. However, there is only so much you can do with it. If you lock someone up, yes they can use their voice and communicate with those outside, but if someone is in complete isolation, with no way out, there is nothing they can do, and no amount of strength will break though. Yes it is nice to think rosy thoughts that good will always prevail, but if you are smart enough, and strong enough, and powerful enough, you could potentially silence a morally strong person. Strength of spirit is the basis of all emotion and all life, but it is not all powerful. We all have some sort of strength, but some amounts more than others. Strength of spirit has thousands of interpretations, and this is only mine, though this topic will be disputed for all of time, through all of space, till ever more.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Essay 19

Mr. H Salsich
English 9

The Potent:
An Essay on Strong Characters in Julius Caesar

In the world of reality, there are many different weaknesses and strengths someone can possess. Some people have more of these curses, both vigor and flaws, than others, for example, “[Mark Twain] has every human strength! and weakness.” (Albert Bigelow Paine, 89) However, most of us have our fair shares of strengths and weaknesses. William Shakespeare has a definite talent at making his fictional characters seem as if they were figures of reality by giving them very real strengths and weaknesses.

Shakespeare’s characters, fake and surreal, are quite real due to him giving them strengths as well as weaknesses. Brutus has a definite strength with wisdom, a rare characteristics among the obdurate Romans. Brutus’ endurance and patience is, in fact, what keeps the conspirators from being discovered from higher powers. He has also proved valuable in selecting trustworthy people to help in the assassination effort. However, not all Romans can be blessed with wisdom; for instance, Cassius mistakes what is his bravery and strength with his ego and stubbornness. He believes that he is one who has battled the gods and won when all he actually did was run through the storm. He rants on about how he saw the gods in this storm, but truly, he seemed more foolish than brave. However, I do not mean that the Romans were a bumbling crowd of idiotic vagabonds. Caesar is the bravest among the characters in Julius Caesar. He took absolute control of Rome in a trying time. He knew that there would be people would not like him for killing the former emperor, but he took power anyway, chancing the consequences. What really makes Julius Caesar such a great play, are the eccentricity of all of Shakespeare’s characters.

It’s the characters that make Shakespeare’s play. Caesar’s bold move to take control of the empire shows great courage by the Roman. Cassius has mistaken bravery with foolishness that has been hidden under his ego, and Brutus’ strength has really saved the conspirators from being discovered. We all have different strengths and weaknesses, for this is part of what makes us human.

Self Assessment

1. What is one strength in this essay?
I worked hard on my fast words and I think my vocabulary makes the essay
2. What is one weakness you see in this essay?
I don’t really see any weakness in this essay, I love the whole thing
3. What is one issue that you are continuing to work on?
I’m trying really hard to get the special effects in my writing, but I think I did that very well in this essay
4. A

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Essay 18

Mr. H Salsich
English 9

Essay 18 Outline

TS What might you call a master of a profession
CM Answer Question
CM Explain Fate as a profession
TH Once we are set free from our mothers arms, the eye of blame can only look upon one
person, you.

TS Once given to the world, we are masters (what of the time before)
SD Childhood fears
CM My fear of needles
CM My fear of being alone
SD Childhood strengths
CM Climbing
CM Acting
SD Families position in life
CM Money
CM Where we live
CS Are personality is out of control,

TS Once we are “free”, we are masters of fate
SD “Once we are free”=in charge of our lives
CM We are in charge of every choice we make
CM No one there to guide us up the stairs
SD Ever decision has an impact
CM Thousands of choices everyday
CM What I eat for breakfast could impact my day
SD We are masters of our fate for better or for worse
CM Our choices could lead us to success
CM Our choices could lead us to the bottom stages of the world
CS After a few short years of “training” we do become masters of our own fates

TS There comes a time, right after childhood, when the only person you can blame for
your mistakes is yourself
CM We have to take full advantage of the early stages of life
CM Once we leave home, we are on our own
CS The safety is off, we most climb alone

Crack of Luck
An Essay on how People are “Masters of our Fates”

“Why, man, doth he bestride the narrow world,
Like a colossus, and we petty men
Walk under his huge legs, peeping about
To find ourselves dishonorable graves.
Men at some time are masters of their fates.
The fault, dear Brutus, is not in the starts,
But in ourselves, that we are underlings.”

-Cassius in Julius Caesar-William Shakespeare
Act 1 Scene 2 Lines 142-148

The millions of decisions we make in one day, life changing or unnoticeable, affect the path that our life travels. That flow of decisions under our stone bridge will, once again, overflow with endless decisions, some good, some bad. The influences we come across every day affect who we are, but are not the deciding factor of our lives. Only our minds, for those of us who have found our voice, can be the master of our fates.

What might you call a master of a kingdom, a master of an academic subject, the master
of a business, the master of an army, or what might you call the master of ship, or the
master of a school, or even, what might you call the master of fate. The master of a
kingdom is a king, the master of a subject is a professor, the master of a business is
a CEO, the master of an army is a general, and you might call the master of a ship a
captain, and the master of a school the principle. All these are professions, and each of
those people can do their job to perfection, but none of them can do the others job, so
what might you call the master of Fate; humans. Once that we, humans, people, leave the safety of our mothers arms, we are at the mercy of the world, but we are in total control of our lives, whether we realize it or not.

We are free once we are given to the world, but what of the time before, because this is where we have little to no control. I have childhood fears that now impact my decisions now. When I was incredibly younger than I am now, I was, against my will, unwillingly dragged to a hospital where my brother had a mole removed, but that is not the whole story, because my mom was supposed to put cream on the mole so that they could remove it with out any pain. My mom put tape over the cream so it wouldn’t come off, but the doctor had to take off the bandage to get the mole, and when they did that my brother was in a lot of pain. There I was sitting in the corner of the operation room with my brother, needles all over his face, blood dripping down his neck, and his shrieking scream echoing off the corners of the world. Ever since this terrifying day in my life, I haven’t able to stand needles, and I don’t think I ever will. Although, our childhoods weigh us down with weaknesses, sometimes, they give us the edge with useful perks of experience. I did a lot of climbing and bouldering when I was really young, and now I have a climbing ability that exceeds most 15 year olds I know. As long as I can remember, I have been reciting commercials and movies day in and day out, and now in my later years, I have been told that I have a natural ability to act, something I am very proud of. Who your parents are to also has a huge impact (on your future). Naturally, if you are born to a multi-billionaire, you will do better than someone born into a family with no money. Where your family lives also effects your life a lot; you don’t decide where you live as a kid, and for me, living 26 miles away from school has definitely affected my life. For the first few years of our lives, we really have no control, we may end up with a childhood we don’t want, or we may be born into a great family and succeed in life.

In reality, once we are free, we are masters of our fates, whether we know it or not. Once we are free, we are in charge of our own lives and no one is telling us what we have to do. We are there to make every decision; we become the leaders of our lives, not the followers. Once we are free, there is no one there to hold our hand. Some people fail to grasp how much we are in control, and that every decision has an impact. What you eat for breakfast could effect how hungry you are, which could mean that you do go to your locker to get a snack, which means you weren’t in the classroom when the assignment was being explained. We really are masters of our fates, for better or for worse. One choice, just one, could completely ruin your life, or make it. Do you fall slave to peer pressure; do you take the AP course; every decision is a big one. After our “training” we become masters of our fates, though we never grasp how big a task that actually is.

There comes a time in our lives, generally right after childhood, when we become masters of our fates, when the only person you can blame for your mistakes is yourself, when there is no one standing behind you in the mirror. We must take full advantage of our childhoods and learn how to make the big and small decisions in life. Once we leave home, the smallest decision could change you forever. Once we leave hom’, the safety is off and we climb alon’. (soften “n” and “m” on home and alone to get a rhyme)

Self Assessment
1. One Strength I see in this writing?
I really like my opening paragraph! I think it draws in the reader but doesn’t give away any of what is too come. I also think I picked my thesis well for it gave me a lot to work with but I could still be very specific.

2. Once weakness in this essay?
I feel like I tried to cram a lot of information in a very small amount of space. This makes it really kind of choppy writing, but, I tried the best I could to make it as clear as possible.

3. Once thing I’m continuing to work on?
Getting to a point where special effects help me. My style of writing is almost sarcastic, more like how I talk than how anyone might write. This means that most special effects actually hurt my writing, so getting them to fit in well is a challenge for me.

4. I worked really hard on this essay and see no reason in my writing in why I shouldn’t get a solid B.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Essay 16

Mr. H Salsich
English 9

The Rule of Resist:
An Essay on Revolution, Revolt, and Riots

Resisting the urge to stand still has been a constant pattern of people. We advocate progress every moment our hearts undergo vacancy. We battle officialdom, and organization, and seat belts, and treadmills; we find conflict with everything that holds us back. It is simple humanity; we need change; a single person can not stand still, whether he’s strapped in or not.

If you look back through the reams of paper known as the history of space and time, you will find that humans are always on a quest for something different, and I intend to prove it. In 44 B.C., a group of conspirators needed change from the bureaucracy known as Julius Caesar. They demanded change in Rome and went as far as to kill their “colossus”, their god, their ruler. The people wanted change, and after rebelling against their leader, they got change. 1259 years later, the nobles of England rebelled against their king but instead of killing him, they wrote a document demanding that they get what they thought they deserved. This act was a little more peaceful than what the Romans had done several hundred years previously but they were done for the same reason; they wanted change and they wanted it badly enough to do something about it. It is very easy to push someone over the edge with something unjust. All people are more or less the same, and I know I could easily be pushed over the edge if I knew something was wrong. If you are doing something wrong, and everyone knows it, everyone will rise against you, the common enemy. All through history, and into the future without any doubt, people revolt against their common enemy in order to get what is just, and with that, change.

Some form of legal system, every culture has, yet legal systems can become corrupt, ceasing progressing. People are constantly looking for ways into the future. People also want things to be as just as possible, so when things aren’t just, and this is causing a lack of progress, people are bound to notice. People have to keep walking, use their feet to move to the next level, and that’s why we have them.

Self Assessment

1. One Issue I am continuing to work on
Writing is never perfect. I am always looking for ways to make it better, whether that’s having fewer mistakes, or writing more gracefully, I always aim to make it better

2. One strong point I see in this essay
I really like my opening paragraph. It took me about 30 minutes to write it because a lot of the words I used I looked up and I picked them all specifically for their lengths and sounds.

3. One weakness I see in this essay
I don’t know if its one particular thing, but I think I got a little side tracked at the end. This is because I wrote it in two different sittings and that through off my flow of writing. I’m not sure if there was anything I could do to fix that.

4. B

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Essay 17

Mr. H Salsich
English 9

Will You Remember?:
An Essay on my Memories from A Tale of Two Cities

“Those were the best of times; those were the worst of times” were the words that came out of my mouth when I finally reached page 390 in Charles Dickens’ A Tale of Two Cities. I am incredibly picky about the books I read, mainly due to the style of writing, and there were many times when I was reading this book from 1859 when the writing would get a little “old fashion” for my taste. However, there were also parts in the book when I thought that Dickens was the greatest writer there ever has been and ever will be. In these times of fantastic text where the book wrote to me, and the inscription will live on in me forever.

One of the greatest messages in the world has been gratefully given to me by this book; this message is courage. Courage is the greatest message in this book and anyone who reads Charles Dickens’ novel will remember that message. Ever since the beginning of the book, courage has been important. However, the greatest example of courage does not show its majestic face until the very end when Sydney Carton, the quick-minded but depressed English barrister alcoholic, and cynic lays down his own life so his friend might escape the horrors of 1789 Paris. There is also the drive that pushes the French people over the edge. Some might think it was madness, that the revolution was simply a group of sick drunks crawling sinisterly up the quivering, well dressed, imperialists, only to show no mercy and watch there blood mix with the wine below their feet. Some people had been driven out of their minds, there is no doubt about it, but I do not believe that the whole French population had become that ill, so I would like to believe that there was courage to in the French hearts, and that drove at least some of them to their final victory. Courage is an incredibly important message in A Tale of Two Cities and its message will live on in me forever.

The Doctor must be one of the greatest characters I have ever read about. He is the greatest character in A Tale of Two Cities. He was just gone through so much in his life. We know he was sick for a portion of his life on the crossing from France, and that he spent 18 years in the Bastille, and he had his daughter taken away from him, and once he was reunited with his daughter, he had to see her hurt when Charles was arrested. I just have so much respect for Doctor Manette, and he is also the most interesting. His life is the most mysterious, and even at the end, it is misty and unclear. He also sticks to his values, and sticks to Lucie, even when another man takes his place. Doctor Manette is the greatest character in A Tale of Two Cities due to his mysteriousness and his persistence and courage.

Right now, my favorite book is The Long Walk by Steven King, and it has a lot on A Tale of Two Cities. There were many parts of A Tale of Two Cities that I thought were melodramatic and unrealistic. However, there were many parts of this book that I enjoyed and will live on in me forever.

Self Assessment

1. One problem I am continuing to work on?
I am continuing to work on using the topic to my advantage. Generally, only the topics that I like have ended up being strong. But I really need to start making all my essays strong.

2. One strength in this writing?
I really like the first paragraph. I’m not sure why, but I think I really chose my words well and that the paragraph is very graceful.

3. One weak point in this essay?
The second paragraph. I had trouble thinking about what to write about. I think my topic on the first paragraph was too broad and then I had nothing to use for my second.

4. A-

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Essay 14

Mr. H Salsich
English 9

The Prophecy:

That night, I had a dream, not like any dream I had had before. I saw many things to come, or so that’s what I thought. I saw my friends, loosing bad habits, and moving on to do great things. Some, deciding they weren’t ready to be out in the world yet, and remained under the sheltered arm of childhood, and still I saw further. I saw loved ones, progressing through life, some unaware of the impact I have made in their lives. I see some of the people in the world, becoming peaceful, living together, and some people thinking that they weren’t ready, and returning to the places they might learn to be better people, and still I saw further. The world grows smarter, and stronger, and slyer, but it still remains peaceful for all those in it. I did not see anything of me, until the end, and this was mistier, for it far, far into the future. I saw an old man, sitting on a dark, worn couch, being greeted by his children, and his grandchildren. I don’t know if this was me, but it looked like me, it looked like my house, and my family, but one can never be sure. Was I really seeing the truth? Was it wishful thinking? I don’t know, but if not me, and if not Connecticut, then somewhere and someone not so far away.

Monday, January 31, 2011

Essay 13

Mr. H Salsich
English 9


TS List core values
CM Explain two
CM Explain two
TH Core Values come up a lot in life

TS Moral Courage in TOTC
SD French did what they thought was right
CM They took it upon themselves
CM They did not care what other countries thought
SD Mr. Carton died for Darney
CM He recognized his life was not as important
CM He was not afraid to die
SD Darney doesn’t want Carton to die
CM He knows he wouldn’t live with himself
CM He had to be drugged

TS Excellence comes into my life a lot
SD I try to give everything my all
CM I am a hard worker
CM I love the things I do
SD I take pride in the things I do
CM I am not ashamed of myself
CM Even if it is not the best
SD I don’t need to be the best
CM I am fine with who I am
CM I accept myself for who I am

TS Some pps core values come up again and again
CM Excellence comes up a lot in my life
CM MC comes up a lot in TOTC
CS They go deeper than pps core

Mr. H Salisch
English 9

The Human Core:
An Essay on People’s Core Values

Pine Point’s core values are: moral courage, excellence, respect, and integrity. Integrity means that you are the best person you can be even when no one us watching, and respect means that you respect everyone and everyone else’s belongings. Excellence means that you are the best person that you can be and you will do your best you can do, and moral courage means that you have the courage to do what is right all the time. These are Pine Point’s core values but core values are important and come up in everyone’s lives (echo).

Moral courage comes up a lot in Charles Dickens A Tale of Two Cites. The one issue is that not everyone’s moral beliefs are the same; for instance, the French thought it was morally correct to over through and eradicate all their leaders (apt. word). They took it upon themselves that they had had enough. They also did not care what other countries thought, in fact, they wanted to wipeout and consume other countries; they wanted to, “rise against the tyrants of the earth…” and historically, they declared war on the Austrians and the Prussians. Carton also gave his life so that Darney may live. He recognized that his life was not as imperative, not as significant, as that of his friend, Charles Darney (apt. word/echo). He believed it morally correct to let Darney live, and had the courage to give his life for Darney and the Mannettes. Darney also would not readily let Carton take his place at the foot of the guillotine. Carton is Darney’s friend and Charles knows that he could never live with himself if he had let one of his best friends die. In the end, Darney had to be drugged and as he and Lucie, the Doctor, Mr. Lorry, and Jerry Cruncher rode from Paris, he, “[] lie[d] [t]here, in th[a]t corner of the carriage…” Moral courage is really one of the main pieces and back bones of A Tale of Two Cities.

I think that excellence is very momentous my life a lot (echo word). I always try to give everything my all, and I never turn down a challenge. This has a lot to do with I love what I do; everything from my hobbies to my style of writing, I find joy in what I do. I also take a lot of pride in what I do. I am not ashamed in what I do. I am always proud of myself even when I am not the best, or the top of the pyramid. I do not find it necessary to be the best. I am fine with who I am in life because I know I have tried my best. I know and have accepted that there are people in the world that are better than me, knowing this, I have grown knowing I will not be the best, and therefore accept myself for who I am. I always try to do my best in my life, regardless of whether I am the best or not.

Even though Pine Point’s core values are Pine Points core values, they are key in everyday life (echo word). Excellence comes up a lot in my everyday life. Even in 1859 when A Tale of Two Cities was written, our core values were important in the form of moral courage. Really, the Pine Point core values go deeper than the walls and boundaries of our school.

Self Assessment

1. What is one issue I am continuing to work on?
I am working very hard to keep all my writing connected. Often, there will be one part like a chunk, or a sentence, or even a word, that sticks out like a soar thumb. I am just trying to make every word flow together.

2. What is one strong point in this writing?
I think that my strong point in this essay was the fact that I was ready for it. I spent a lot of time before hand getting ready to write it. Even after my outline was written, I spent time planning sentences I could use. I felt really prepared when I sat down at the computer because I knew exactly what I wanted to say?

3. What is one weak point you see in this writing?
Even though I was ready to write, I felt uncomfortable with the topic. I didn’t feel like I could easily pull six chunks out of it. I just felt like I had to force my soul out onto the paper, instead of just writing.

4. B

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Essay 10

Mr. H Salsich
English 9

Echo Word: Strong
TS: Circles hold there shapes
CM: No weak point in a circle
CM: No beginning and no end
TH: Things are stronger as circles

TS: TOTC plot is a circle
SD: Characters reappear
CM: Miss Pross
CM: Death
SD: Actions come back
CM: reincarnation
CM: sacrifice
SD: ideas come back
CM: Freedom
CM: Hunger
CS: Circles make books better

TS: Circles in my life
SD: Work comes up a lot
CM: Work very hard at many things
CM: Can never work hard enough
SD: Soccer ball
CM: Soccer is the center of my life
CM: Always loved the sport
SD: Comedy
CM: Love things to be funny
CM: Know very funny people
CS: My live is filled with circles

Mr. H Salsich
English 9

Circle Strong:
An Essay on the Strength of Circles and how Things Reoccur

TS Circles, the incredible 360̊ object. Has an amazing ability to hold its shape. CM There is no weak spot in a circle. CM The circle has no corners, no joints, no beginning or end, just an endless line going around and around, never stopping, never faltering, a ball rolling away into the darkness. TH Anything can be made stronger when it is a circle, made better.

TS The very well-built plot of A Tale Of Two Cities is due very much to the many circles in it. Characters constantly disappear and reappear like thousands of bubbles floating in a small room. CM Miss Pross started in the book as a lonely figure, went away for awhile, and now plays a huge part in the end of this book. CM Death has also been a inconsistent character; a simple shadow, drifting in and out of the light. SD Characters actions come in and out of focus throughout the book too. CM Resurrection is a very large circle, with most of the book closed in around it. CM The only greater circle is one not quiet so hidden, the circle of sacrifice. SD Ideas also come back, even though you never quite know what the characters are thinking. CM The idea of freedom has been evident ever since the first chapter. CM The idea of hunger has also been great, both hunger for food and power. CS Charles Dickens is a master of shapes, circles especially, and this makes his novel A Tale of Two Cities one of the greatest ever told.

TS Just like the life of Lucie Manette, my life is filled with circles making it a strong and well structured life. SD Work is a never ending circle that always comes up in everyone’s lives. CM I have always had a busy life, working at many things at once. CM No matter how hard you work, you are always going to get more the next day. SD Another circle in my life is soccer. CM I have been playing soccer all my life and hope if will stay that way. CM My whole life is centered around the game and I live for the game. SD Comedy is the circle of my life. CM I believe that everyone that knows me knows that I will not pass up an opportunity to make a pun (generally a really bad one). CM I surround myself with people who I find to be funny; I love humor and I base my life around it. CS My life, a very Dickens life, is filled with unfaltering circles.

TS The circle may be the strongest shape there is. CM A circle has corners where the sides can be pulled from each other, and a line is unbalanced and is likely to fall flat on its face. CM Circles also make things more exciting, especially in lives. CS No matter what the situation, the circle remains strong.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Essay 9

Mr. H Salsich
English 9

Essay 9 Graphic Organizer

Main Point: Carton is a fighter
Bell word: brave
Thesis: Carton does not give up

TS: Sick people fight
CM: No one says “good job”
CM: Same with Carton
TH: Carton fights against all odds

TS: Carton is brave
SD: He keeps fighting
CM: Much abuse
CM: He still works
SD: Lucy cares little for him
CM: She is nice to him
CM: She deceives him; he knows
SD: He puts himself down
CM: He drinks
CM: He is depressed
CS: He takes a lot of abuse; he does not stop

TS: It is all in his head
SD: He needs to think highly of himself
CM: He has no self confidence
CM: He could be a better person
SD: Darnay is a cruel person
CM: Carton looks up to him
CM: Darnay is a bad influence
SD: He needs to accept his life
CM: He is where he is
CM: He needs to just suck it up
CS: Carton could be a bolder character

Mr. H Salsich
English 9

According to the Webster’s II New Riverside Dictionary, the definition of brave is, “Having or displaying courage; to face or endure courageously. When a chair sits old, and dilapidated and dusty, or decrepit and done for, waiting for the mold to take you, in some dark, echoing corner, no one turns to it and says, “Good job chair! You have done a great job.” Sydney Carton describes himself as an “old […] piece of furniture.” However, Carton is brave by enduring the lack of encouragement as he soldiers on with supporting the world on his drunken shoulders.

Carton could be considered one of the bravest characters in the book A Tail of Two Cities for he has to go through a lot everyday. Ever since he was first introduced, he was abused and frowned a pone by all other characters. Even with all this maltreatment, Carton continues to live through the book; Not committing suicide, he keeps his job and lives to fight another day. On top of all this misfortune, the one person who he loves cares little for him. Lucie Manette, the golden haired doll, the jewel of the book, is nice to Carton though only through the kindness of her pure soul, not the affection of her heart. She has cleverly deceived him though it seems like Carton knows this, and this only makes him only more depressed. When it looks like things could not get any worse for Sydney Carton, they do, for not only does everyone he knows put him down, but he puts himself down too. Sydney Carton is a heavy drinker and we know that drinking actually has a negative effect on you mood and your wallet. He also puts himself down a lot by not thinking little of himself; he believes everything bad people say about him causing his self confidence to plummet as if dropped from the top of a mountain where it can soar free until it crashes dramatically into the sea.

Carton may be valiant, but he does have a definite problem; however, there are some ways that he could solve this problem. Carton really needs to start thinking highly of himself. He has no self confidence which is denying himself from getting off the ground. He could also be a better person; he needs to stop standing against the wall and get into the conversation. Darnay is a cruel person, and he is especially cruel to Carton. Darnay is a terrible influence on Carton. Carton really needs just to accept life as it is and move on. He needs to accept who he is and see how far he can take himself into the world. If he just sucked up what has happened to him in the past few years and moved on, he could be a lot bolder. For Carton to “fix” his life, he really needs to get some self confidence, find some real friends and move on to the next page.

Sydney Carton may be a weak person, but he continues to live, and will all his problems, could make him one of the braver characters in A Tale of Two Cities. He sees very little affection from anyone. The only thing he really has seen his whole life are unmovable obstacles placed by his piers. It was hinted not long after Cartons introduction, that he might not want to continue on living, but some years have passed and he continues to fight life.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Essay 8

Mr. H Salsich
English 9

Essay 8 Outline

TS: What we do does matter
Bell word: minute

Hook: Space is huge
Comment: We don’t even know what is there
Comment: Earth is small

Thesis: Very small but we still make a difference

Topic Sentence: Dickens is wrong
Echo: microscopic, miniscule

SD: People are complex
Comment: We are bigger and more important
Comment: We do not have “mere human knowledge”

SD: We are here and we matter
Comment: We need to take care of ourselves
Comment: There might not be other people out there

Conclusion: We ourselves are what is here, we are most important

Topic Sentence: We can’t listen to Dickens here
Echo: infinitesimal, insignificant

SD: We need to think we are important
Comment: We can’t always clean up for everyone else
Comment: As a world, we need to know Earth is important

SD: We can’t top everything
Comment: Compete w/ something that might not be out there
Comment: Human nature

Conclusion: Dickens is wise, but he might be wrong here

Ben’jamin Dameron
Mr. H Salsich
English 9

A Small People, a Big Universe:
An Essay about People and Space

All of space and time and all of existence for ever past and into the future of tomorrow are huge. It is so big and goes back so far and will continue for so long, that we have no clue on what is really out there. Compared to the vastness of space and time, we humans in our little corner room, in our little time, are emotively minute (FAST words(Bell word)). However, Earth is so small and space and time so big, that we should care little about them; we should care about what is happening here, and here is what matters.

I believe that in chapter 16, Dickens says that we, humans, in all of our brilliance, are microscopic in comparison to all of space and time, and Dickens may be very wrong (appositive). Dickens states that we have only, “mere human knowledge” but are minds have expanded that far from our humble beginning that only a heartless man could say they were mere. We are big; we are huge, and we disserve more than to be a worthless pile of life on a mound of dirt and water. Dickens implies that there is a greater being out there somewhere, being religious, or alien, but no matter what it is, we no more about it than in Dickens time and there is no evidence to support there being something there; we are here, and we are what matter. Instead of researching or bowing our heads to something that might not be real, we as a race should focus on “split[ting that one] ray of light” instead of dreaming of that maybe person that can split our planet. There might not be anything out there, but we know we are there, so why worry our little noggins about being so miniscule(FAST echo). We do not know if something is really out there, so we may hide our stony faces if we want, but we should not fantasize over something that might not be real.

If my theory about Dickens’s passage is correct, we as a human race cannot listen to him. Our infinitesimal little race is not doing very well. We are abating the planet and doing very little about it. If the humans are not doing well, we should not be putting ourselves down with books that say that we have, “mere human intelligence”. It also might not be wise there are extra terrestrial beings somewhere out there in space and time, making us even more insignificant, a useless luxury to galaxy, as a diamond is to a watch, for the watch does not need the diamond to function, and it does not make it work any better, but, people need to feel important, like the spring in the watch that is necessary for the constant ticking and tocking. Something very enthralling about humans is that we always have to be best. If there is something out there better than us, humans will not resist from trying to top it. It may be unwise to put ourselves down, or try to top aliens out in space, so we really must believe that Dickens’ passage is wrong.

One of Dickens’s pieces of writing in A Tale of Two Cities could be interpreted as saying that there is a much greater being than humans and that we are small compared to them. It could seem like he is saying that it does not matter what our name was or how long our name lives in songs and stories, because we are nothing compared to the vastness of space and time. With all the problems in the world, we really need to be encouraging ourselves so it might be unwise to listen to Dickens. However, no matter how big the edges of space and time go out into the dark unknown, we need to know that our walls and cities can stretch to the edges of our planet and all that we know.

Self Assessment

1. One problem that I am continuing to work on in my writing is my opening and closing paragraphs. I really just have a hard time getting all my ideas into a small paragraph. Often I end up with long confusing sentences that really could be a lot smoother.

2. My greatest strong point in this piece of writing I believe is my cumulative sentence in my second body paragraph. I believe that it is a great piece of writing that really enhances the paragraph.

3. The one big weakpoint in this essay has got to be my second body paragraph. I don’t feel like I got all my ideas down strongly enough. This makes the paragraph hard to read and it bounces around ideas a lot.

4. I believe that there are strong parts and weak parts in this essay and I would be quite pleased with a B-.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Essay 7

Mr. H Salsich
English 9

Graphic Organizer for Essay 7

(I would like to try to have all 600 words in one sentence)

Main Idea: Finding Peace in Pain

Mr. Carton is a peaceful person
He has few problems
He does not worry about anything
He is a miserable person
He is happier than Stryver

Women in the wheelchair has pain
In this pain she finds peace

I find peace in things that are difficult

54 words per idea

Mr. H Salsich

Peace in Pain:
An Essay on Finding Peace through Ones Pain

People, in all of our stubbornness, and our need for more than what we actually do need, our hate of all people, places, perceptions, others proficiency, progress, and pronunciation, and our selfishness, and wastefulness, and frailness, and our incredible ability to make the same mistake continuously, along with our constant find to need to go to war, and our weak emotions, our need for comforting, our excitement in things that are not very exciting, which goes along with our impressive structures that we spend days and days and weeks and months and years and decades, and dynasties and ages and all of time making that have very little purpose at all or a purpose so small and insignificant, it dazzles the mind to think all the work had to go into it, and our desire for the best, and our suspicions of all lower than you, do have an incredible ability to be peace full, just as rain in its constant cycle through the cycle of water, being forced to the top of mountains, and then down the mountains, just to be pulled ever so hard back down the steep face, has an inconceivable way of pitter pattering just the right way on the shingled room, and the muddy puddle, and the hard granite surface, to sooth the chaotic mind of all around it and give everyone an opportunity to be calm, and collective; Mr. Carton is a depressed character in A Tale of Two Cities, always being put down by his pier, Mr. Styver, losing everything he tries to do, always getting no credit for his hard work, and always finding very little meaning in his life, but he could be considered one of the more peaceful characters in the book, and this is possible if you look at him as a man who has given up, and no longer cares about the troubles of life, or what people think of him, for he simply chugs along in his little human shell, where some might believe it says “Made in England” over a compartment where the machine holds the triple AAA batteries, doing what he must, and nothing else, and this could be considered very peaceful, like a troubled, yet still, flower, in a stampede of running deer, cantering, never faltering, toward the lone flower . (Long Sentence (365)) (Subordinating cumulative sentence)

Just like Mr. Carton is sort of a peaceful person, the women from A Rainy Morning is a very peaceful person, a women who has few worries even though she is disabled (appositive phrase). If you are a stubborn person, a pessimist, or an evil dictator, you might find it impossible to be peaceful and even harder for this woman, who is worse off than some of us, to be peaceful. If you think that, than I have the honor of telling you that you are wrong in almost every peaceful way. This woman does not care. She is wise and has found peace through her state.

The wisest people in the world have made an incredible discovery, a discovery that could change humans forever, a discovery that makes the wheel, and sliced bread look like a simple addition problem. The wisest people of the world have made the discovery that the world is not here to help. In our life times people will try to put us down, because there are bad people out there. Not all of the world is out there to be our giant teddy bear. There are really four ways to look at this from this point. One way is the easiest and evilest way and that is to join these doers of harm. The second is that hardest but noblest; to stand up and fight, to try to stop the evils of the world and give peace to others before yourself. The third way is for the weak and emotionally unstable people like Mr. Carton. Give up. Mr. Carton is peaceful because he does not care but he gains nothing and others don’t either. The last way is almost as difficult as the second. Rise up above the crowd, stand alone, and hold your chin high; let everyone see nothing but the shadow of your nose. Be the bigger person and simply be peaceful even though there might be none, just like the women in the poem.


Self Assessment
1. One problem I am continuing to catch all of my mistakes the first time. I use long sentences a lot and sometimes they are not always correct.

2. I believe that my strong point in this essay is my use of long sentences and short sentences. I start with a very long sentence and then in my second paragraph, I use several short sentences.

3. My weak point in this essay is my long sentences in the paragraph. After using one really long sentence, you can't really get the effect with the shorter long sentences.

4. I worked very hard on this essay and feel it is one of my best and would give myself a higher grade than usual.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Essay 6 Graphic Organizer and Essay

Mr. H Salsich
English 9

Main Point of Essay: Seeing ones self
Bell word: within

Hook: surgery, look within someone
Comment: Literal vs. figurative
Comment: Mirrors
Thesis: People see all different types of things within themselves when looking in a mirror

Body Paragraph 1
Echo: Inside, innermost
Topic Sentence: Characters in TOTC looking in mirrors
Support 1: Lucie: What might she see
Commentary: Worried face
Commentary: Helpfulness and maturity
Support 2: What might Doc Manette see
Commentary: Lost time
Commentary: Mystery
Support 3: What might Mr. Lorry see
Commentary: Money
Commentary: Lonely
Concluding Sentence: Good friends see different things

Body Paragraph 2
Echo: viscera, intramural
Topic Sentence: To look within oneself
Support 1: Unhappiness
Commentary: I please others before myself
Commentary: Miss Pross
Support 2: Desperation
Commentary: I don’t know me
Commentary: Overwhelmed
Support 3: Finesse
Commentary: Always take the longer path
Commentary: Make everything harder than it needs to be
Concluding: Need to be careful

Hook: You could see anything
Commentary: Hate vs. like
Commentary: Depress or please
Concluding: Mirrors are dangerous things

A Mirror’s Eye:
An Essay on Seeing Inside Oneself with a Mirror

(TS) One way to see within yourself is to have someone perform surgery on you. (CM) This of coarse is the literal way as appose o the figurative way which is much harder and much cheaper. (CM) Sometimes, to see inside ourselves, we really need to see ourselves, and what better way to see yourself than with a mirror. (TH) Different people might see all kinds of different things when looking in their golden framed mirrors.

(TS) If some of Charles Dickens characters from A Tale of Two Cities were to look in a mirror, I am sure that they would all see different things. (SD) If Lucie Manette looked into a beautifully crafted pier-glass positioned in a dark, well decorated room of oak, she would see a beautiful face, starring back, but she also might see something else. (CM) If Lucie Manette starred into a mirror, she might simply see fear, for Lucie is often scared for the safety and security of her friends; very infrequently does she care for herself before others, especially those who she is close to, cares for, and loves very much. (Subordinating cumulative sentence (47 words)) (CM) Lucie is a very loving person, and many people love her too, but she is so helpful and modest that if she looked into a mirror, she might only see the face of an old man, or a wild women, or a disgruntled man of business. (SD) If someone, who had missed most of their life, wondering aimlessly, not knowing where to go, looked into a cracked and broken mirror, hung on a cold stone cell wall by a bending and rusting nail, they might see nothing at all. (CM) This man might have someone dear to him, but because he does not know her, he might feel like his time has passed. (CM) A lost man looks into a mirror hoping to be able to look back on the life they could have had, but have lost. (SD) Now, lets say Mr. Lorry looked into a square mirror, just large enough to fit the head of the looker. (CM) He might see efficiency starring back at him with colorless but beautiful eyes. (CM) Perhaps, he might see loneliness, for the money he worked so hard to get for Telsons has not gotten him any companion in which he might love. (CS) It is ironic how these good friends Dickens planned and perfected are oh so different, especially in the eyes of a mirror.

(TS) Different people might see different things when staring into a mirror, and I see very different things from most of Dickens’s characters might see. (SD) When I stare into a mirror, I often see a pair of unhappy green eyes looking gloomily back. (CM) The only person in Tale of Two Cities that my understand my problem would be Miss Pross for we have the exact same problem. (CM) I am such a complicated person, so different from those I surround myself with, I find it much easier to please everyone else before even contemplating what I might want to do, and because of this, I often find myself with the absence of happiness. (SD) I might also see an open, desperate mouth, gasping for air, for I am a very desperate person. (CM) I am a very confused person, and sometimes I don’t know what I want to do, and this leaves me desperate, looking around anxiously for hope. (CM) I am also desperate for a brake because I never stop moving; I am always doing something and I am desperate for a time to rest. (SD) I also might see, but not always, some sort of finesse, not literally, but finesse hangs around me like a misty, good smelling, but toxic mist. (CM) Finesse always takes me the long way and I often find my self looking down the longer, steeper and rougher trail when a perfectly good flat road of cobblestone lies to the other side, incurving, and staying flat, but many pass along this road, and it has turned grey and worn, and I would much rather turn my head to the path overgrown with exuberant colors and flowers. (CM) However, under the bright mountains blooms lies a thicket of thorny Fabaceae making the trek much harder than it need be. (CS) I need to be careful because my unhappy and finesse mood leads me to desperation which will lead me to no good.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Essay 5

Mr. H Salsich
English 9

The Long Lost:
An Essay on Your Feelings When Discovering a Lost Parent

(TS) Imagine for just one second, that for as long as you can remember, and a time before, your parents were dead. (CM) You live alone, adapting to having to learn everything first hand. (CM) Then, one day, your parents renter your life; and living alone becomes a very different story. (TH) That time of readjusting might be very difficult with many feelings passing alone through your mind and heart.

(TS) The feelings of Luci Manette when she meets her father are portrayed very well by Dickens using several writing techniques. (SD) Dialogue is used extensively within the parteds’ meeting, forced miles away from each other, not knowing the others whereabouts. (CM) The feelings of Luci are caught very well with the use of varied dialogue; Dickens varies the lengths of monologues from short, shocked bursts, to long protracted speeches. (CM) However, the short sentences such as, “Who are you?”(Dickens, 46) are incredibly powerful, and they do their job with perfection and dignity. (SD) The use of action is used exceedingly well by Dickens to give the reader a very clear picture of what is happening during the Manettes’ meeting. (CM) It is easy to write about two people standing in a room talking to each other, but Dickens make this conversation seem so real by putting in ever movement. (CM) These movements however do not take up pages, they are brief and are over with quickly, such as this quote, “Not yet trusting the tones of her voice, she sat down on the bench beside him. He recoiled, but she laid her hand upon his arm.” (Dickens, 46). (SD) Parallelism is used for its rhythm and beauty, which can make an emotional section quite entertaining. (CM) When a writer uses parallelism, it can really get a point across. (CM) Dickens uses this well in this piece of dialogue, “No, no, no; you are too young, to blooming.” (CS) The use of, and writing inside and around dialogue in the reuniting of Luci Manette and her father really makes it a great piece of writing.

(TS) If I had been told that my parents were dead only to find that years later they were still alive, I would have a multitude of emotions. (SD) First of all, I would feel betrayed. (CM) I would feel lied to by who ever had told that my parents died. (CM) I would also feel abandoned by my parents because they were not there. (SD) I would also feel tricked. (CM) I believe that I would be reluctant to believing my parents were still alive. (CM) Having lived in this body for 14 years, I know it would take a lot to convince me that the two people there are my parents. (SD) I would also feel brought back. (CM) Over 20 years, my life would have adapted to having no parents, to a new life. (CM) Once my parents return to my life, my whole lifestyle has to go backwards 20 years. (CS) At first thought, the reuniting would be very pleasant, but after 20 years of living alone, things might be different.

(TS) If you just discovered your parents after believing they were dead for your whole life, you might have a whole host feelings and ideas. (CM) A person might feel betrayed, or abandoned, or blissful, or distressed, or lied to, or any number of feelings. (CM) It is difficult to think of how you would respond because few people personally relate to this. (CS) The only true way to know how you would react would be for it to happen to them, and no one wants to know that badly.

Self Assessment
1. What is one writing issue that you are continuing to work on?
I am continuing to work on making sure I catch all my mistakes and make sure all my sentences are where they should be
2. What is one possible strong point you see in this writing?
I believe that my first body paragraph was very well written. I spent a very long time trying to use the write words and use long sentences that did not sound long and boring.
3. What is one weak point you see in this writing?
I believe that my second body paragraph is my biggest weak point because I tried to use lots of short sentences to change it up from the first paragraph. However, I believe I used too many short sentences and was not able to achieve the sound I was going for.
4. Grade?
I would give myself an A- on this essay because I believe that it is very well written and I spent a very long time working on this essay and I believe my effort should earn any less.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Martha's Vineyard

Mr. H Salsich
English 9

The long but short bus ride to Martha’s Vineyard was not an eventful one. The activities during and after the trip was a lot more eventful than the trip itself. During the trips on the ferry, the card games and sea breeze was a much welcomed brake to the cramped and crowded bus. After a long but short trip ended, another trip began, but this was a trip through a much shorter distance. The aquarium was very eventful. You walked along a hall being watched by lots of little fishy eyes. The small shark eyes of the dogfish staring loathingly at passerbies. The snowy grouper frowning. Its yeses glare at every person. Its body perfectly still, and its tail not even fluttering in the slightest breeze. But still we move on to the coldest and wettest place our expedition saw throughout our whole escapade. The trails were muddy the heavens pouring, the trees sagging, the feet dragging, and no bugs to be had. The map faded and tore and spirits did not soar. In fact, the spirits died, as well as moral. But the three trudged on. The end of the sassafras trail finally came into sight through the branches and leaves of the forest, The longer walk across the small lakes of collected rain make my shoes flood with water, However we do make it back where we draw live and dead animals,. The hawk looms over all, but I am the only one brace enough to attempt to capture the terrible, gentle feathers. So we moved on, devouring an entire coop full of chickens. The dark sauce glistened on the grill chicken as my knifed tore through the meat. So far, I had had tons of fun at Martha’s Vineyard.

The shadow is cast toward me, the sun in front of me. I can not see the sun, even though the light grows dim as it slips into the waves. J The rock is perched on the edge of the cliff right above the crashing and rolling waves. The white foam rides up the waves, as if it were snow on a winter’s day. The wind howls over the sand and up and over the red cliffs. The wisps of clouds sluggishly crawls across the sky wish has at last turned from grey to bight blue with a spot of crimson and gold by the endless blue of the sea. The one rock stands alone, yes there are other rocks that tower over the duns, other rocks balancing on a cliff, other rocks that tower over the sand, it is not the biggest or the most difficultly balanced but it is the proudest of all that stand above the mess of other rocks. This rock stands in the waves that crash all about it; this rock was the quickest to stand on its own this rock is not the most pretty but it is the most beautiful. This one solitary rock was the one picked to be silhouetted the one the sun picked to frame in the fires on red and yellow. This one rock, the perfect rock.

Martha's Vineyard

Mr. H Salsich
English 9

The long but short bus ride to Martha’s Vineyard was not an eventful one. The activities during and after the trip was a lot more eventful than the trip itself. During the trips on the ferry, the card games and sea breeze was a much welcomed brake to the cramped and crowded bus. After a long but short trip ended, another trip began, but this was a trip through a much shorter distance. The aquarium was very eventful. You walked along a hall being watched by lots of little fishy eyes. The small shark eyes of the dogfish staring loathingly at passerbies. The snowy grouper frowning. Its yeses glare at every person. Its body perfectly still, and its tail not even fluttering in the slightest breeze. But still we move on to the coldest and wettest place our expedition saw throughout our whole escapade. The trails were muddy the heavens pouring, the trees sagging, the feet dragging, and no bugs to be had. The map faded and tore and spirits did not soar. In fact, the spirits died, as well as moral. But the three trudged on. The end of the sassafras trail finally came into sight through the branches and leaves of the forest, The longer walk across the small lakes of collected rain make my shoes flood with water, However we do make it back where we draw live and dead animals,. The hawk looms over all, but I am the only one brace enough to attempt to capture the terrible, gentle feathers. So we moved on, devouring an entire coop full of chickens. The dark sauce glistened on the grill chicken as my knifed tore through the meat. So far, I had had tons of fun at Martha’s Vineyard.

The shadow is cast toward me, the sun in front of me. I can not see the sun, even though the light grows dim as it slips into the waves. J The rock is perched on the edge of the cliff right above the crashing and rolling waves. The white foam rides up the waves, as if it were snow on a winter’s day. The wind howls over the sand and up and over the red cliffs. The wisps of clouds sluggishly crawls across the sky wish has at last turned from grey to bight blue with a spot of crimson and gold by the endless blue of the sea. The one rock stands alone, yes there are other rocks that tower over the duns, other rocks balancing on a cliff, other rocks that tower over the sand, it is not the biggest or the most difficultly balanced but it is the proudest of all that stand above the mess of other rocks. This rock stands in the waves that crash all about it; this rock was the quickest to stand on its own this rock is not the most pretty but it is the most beautiful. This one solitary rock was the one picked to be silhouetted the one the sun picked to frame in the fires on red and yellow. This one rock, the perfect rock.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Essay 3

Mr. H Salsich
English 9

When you are in the cold, surrounded by ice and snow, simply sitting and waiting, unable to go inside because you small nylon shelter has been berried by the drift, the zipper frozen shut, your Whisper Light stove empty of white gas, your hot chocolate turned solid, your nose clogged with ice, the only thing you want to do is split the logs in front of you to find the unfrozen center so you might start the fire that will keep you warm without melting your nylon cloths. When it comes down to it, the only thing that keeps you sane, and halts the flow of tears that would undoubtedly freeze on your cheeks is the thought of the fire that you would like to have, but don’t. The thought of a spark, keeps you going. When anywhere north or south of the equator during the spring, fall, summer, or winter, fire is your greatest friend.

I have always found that fire has an exotic way of entertaining me. The fires dance is so complex and orderly, but at the same time, so random. No one can name the colors that make up the flames decorations, the blue and white bottom surrounded by the blackened charcoal, braking up above into crimson fuel, the heart of the fire, then as your eyes continue to move up the roaring fire, the red melts into the yellow tips of the swords that fire swings about in beautiful anguish, throwing up a shower of orange sparks that twist and twirl in the air until they quickly go out all before you can blink an eye (long sentence (87 words). The colors are so different than everything else, especially against white snow. The movement of the inferno is also very intriguing. The fire wraps around itself in an endless loop. The sparks are constantly boogieing above us all. The heat of the fire draws us in. The artificial heat heats the body to unnatural temperate, but you feel cool because the side away from the fire remains cool so your core temperature remains balanced. However, the heat can heat us, dry us, give you light, and give you comfort. Conflagration has ways of drawing you in, and making you its friend.

A fire, just like any other friend, needs a home. The spark needs a place to stay warm against the cold; it needs walls of stone to keep out the wind and rain. The spark needs these walls of stone to wrap around it, shielding it from the wind. The wall of stone holds the umbrella to keep out the rain. The spark of the blaze needs to stay warm inside the fire’s heart, so the fire builds a shelter of wood to hold in the heat. The shelter of wood stops the warmth from leaving its safe home, and it keeps out the cold’s sharp knives from cutting in to the ropes leading to calescence. The shelter of wood also gives the blaze a constant stockpile of fuel to consume; feeding it, as if it were a child. The home is deep within the ground, low in the Earth, and concealed within the foliage. The fire sometimes gets bored of its home in the ground, and it tries to run away; The pit reaches up a hand of stone and catches the little spark before it gets past the birch of silver. The pit of stone, and Earth, and wood, keeps in the warmth and the blaze itself, and never lets go, just as an over protective parent squeezes its child before their first day of school, but the fire never leaves, and the home never lets go, but I guess that is ok in a family of fire. The home of fire is a peculiar home, a home very different, but not so far, from the home lived in by you and I.

Fire can be one of the greatest tools for a person. Fire can keep you warm and entertain you at the same time. Fire is a close friend, so you must take care of it, and take care of its home. No matter what, the orange blaze will always be there to take care of you.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Essay 2

Ben’jamin Dameron
Mr. H Salsich
English 9

Secret and Mystery
An Essay on Similes with People:

Human minds might be some of the most complex theory induced possessions that humans have. Everybody has theories and simile to attempt on making the brain a little clearer. Some people talk about themselves and some people talk about others. Dickens uses similes a lot in his books and there are many theories, but I also have some of my own.

I have found evidence to support a theory about Dickens possibly writing about himself on page 15. It is possible that when Dickens says, “I have had glimpses of buried treasure and other things submerged.” (Dickens, 15) That he is talking about his dreams. If this holds true, the “book [that] shut with a spring” is life telling him no. People can not always get want they want; this is what Dickens might be saying, though from his view, and his loss. He goes on to say, “It was appointed that the water should be locked in an eternal frost…and I stood in ignorance on the shore.” And he might be trying to say that he is ignorantly continuing to try to reach lost hopes, and lost dreams, and lost love ones. When he expands on this statement, he says, “[that] in any burial-places of this city (his mind) through which I pass, is there a sleeper more inscrutable than its busy inhabitants are, in their innermost personality, to me, or than I am to them?” he could have been trying to say his mind, a city where all sleep, has seen so much pain and loss, that he is simply asking, “Could there be anything else that could go wrong.” There are many explanations of this paragraph in A Tale of Two Cities, and I hope I have given ample evidence to one of them.

Just as Dickens might compare his dreams to a book or water, I compare people secrets and mysteries to a fire atop the snow. To make a fire on top of snow requires the correct tools, just as it takes time to get to know somebody. It takes a long time to get all the dry wood and kindling that you need to make a fire on the cold wet floor. It also takes a long time to really get to know someone very well. Once you have your wood, and your friends personality, you to know what to do from there. You can not just light a fire from anywhere, you need to know all the tricks otherwise you will just have a lot of wet smoke in your face. The same theory applies with people, for you can not just walk up to someone and say, “Would you please tell me those things that you have never told anybody else ever in your whole life?” because if you did that, you would just end up with some cold smoke in your face. If you learn somebody’s secrets and hopes, you need to know where to go from there, just like how you must know what to do with a fire once you have a cold wet flame, because the fire could keep you warm and well, or it could burn you and spoil your good mood that you have received do to the wonderful accomplishment of starting a fire in the snow which is nasty stuff that is generally difficult to light fires on (long sentence-82). If you know someone’s secrets, you could help them keep it a secret or, you could spoil there good mood by telling everybody, loosing their trust, and being thought poorly of, and being left with few friends (tricolon). On a very similar note, if you get too close to the fire, taunting it and poking fun at the brilliant cold wet flames, you will really just be putting your hand on a barbecue, yet if you respect the flames, they will keep you warm. I do believe that you can get inside a person and start a fire in their cold wet heart, but it takes time and once you have, you must respect that privilege.

Everybody from children to accomplished writers have theories about minds of people. Dickens has elaborate and difficult similes that are near impossible to fully understand. However, people everyday come up with simpler similes about brains of people. I believe that no simile will really explain the mind, and I believe that Charles Dickens thought the same way.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Essay 1

Ben'jamin Dameron
Mr. H Salsich

Back to School Entertainment
An Essay on Relating Songs to Going Back to School:

Déjà vu is a French saying that means that you feel like you have experienced something before and that something is reoccurring. This saying is used by people all over the world. Its variety of uses can change from being used to describe the reoccurrence of flies in soup to the reoccurrence of school starting at the end of every summer. However many people use the French phrase: Déjà vu to describe coming back to school, I will always find other ways to relate to the end of summer.

A song that really can relate to leaving summer and coming to school is The Beatles' "Hello Goodbye". I hate saying goodbye, so I am not going to say goodbye, but I will say hello. In my experiences, people are sad when they must say goodbye to summer, so I just put on a brave face and say hello to school and 9th grade, working constantly, and enjoying every minute of it. (Participle phrase) In the song "Hello Goodbye", The Beatles repeat this line very often; "I don't know why you say goodbye; I say hello!" The Beatles also talk a lot about being enthusiastic in their song. They use the line, "You say start, and I say go go go!" I feel that this line comes into school a lot because there is a huge difference between just doing work and doing it well and really caring about it. I feel that the smooth lyrics used by The Beatles can easily be compared to school.

I do not think that only songs can relate to school, for instance, I believe that the movie Gladiator has many connections to coming back to school. When Maximus goes to the slave camp, he has great skill as a fighter and a general, but this is not enough for him to survive. He has to learn from his owner, Proximo, about how to win the crowd to win the fight. When students go back to school, they have many skills (parallelism), but we still must learn from our teachers to get good grades and eventually succeed in life. Secondly, in the slaves’ first fight in the coliseum, the odds are stacked against them. Maximus rises above the crowd and shouts, "You can help me. No matter what comes out of those gates, we have a better chance of survival if we work together. Do you understand? If we work together, we survive...Come together! Come together!" In all group activities at school, you will do better if you work together; from sports to projects to proposals to painting to anything, it works better if you work together. It may not make sense at first, but the movie Gladiator can have a lot to do with school.

From French phrases, to movies, to books, to songs, to cars, to games, and really anything, there are many ways one can relate to one’s return to school. I find that the song “Hello Goodbye” by the Beatles and the movie Gladiator can really relate to coming back to school. There are many other things that I can think of that me remind me of the end of summer, Master and Commander, Help, Teach Your Children, Colors of the Rainbow, Sound of Silence, but nothing can compare to being at school. School is here for the benefit of us all, so we must just stand together and say HELLO!

Self Assessment:

1. One writing issue I am continuing to work on?
One issue I am continuing to work on in my writing is making sure that I am following all the rules. Sometimes I forget one of the rules and my punctuation has gotten a little rusty over the summer
2. One strong point I see in this writing?
One strong point I see in this essay is my two topics. I feel like I picked very strong topics because I had a very easy time writing.
3. One possible weak spot I see in this writing?
I feel like one weak spot I have is my opening and closing paragraphs because I had a harder time working with those two paragraphs. I had trouble putting a beginning and an end to the story I had created
4. Grade
I feel like I did a very good job on this essay and I would have to give myself and A.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Freestyle Writing 1 - Philmont

I want to go back
To where the mountains rise high,
Up into the purple sky,
And the eagles soar and fly

I want to go back,
To the boiled meals
All the Oreo deals
And blister covered heals

I want to go back,
To where the days are so long
And you have to be strong
Simply trudging along

I want to go back,
Where you fall in a heap
Because you have gotten no sleep,
No energy to make a peep.

I want to go back
Where a song makes your day
When the day is wet and grey
Walking atop the clay

I want to go back
To were you are covered in dirt
White turns black on your shirt
And you no longer hurt

I want to go back
To where the bears roam free
With the lions in the tree
And you feel you could drink the sea

Oh I want to go back to Philmont.