Ben’jamin Dameron
The End:
I can’t believe its over; I watched the whole thing through,
Ten years fade, as I approach the immanent the epic end.
I am not leaving any friends, I am leaving family.
But I must know if I do in fact stay here
I want to know if I will see tears of blue
If this really is the last goodbye
How painful it is to say goodbye
To say it, the whole word through
I watch, I my mood will soon turn blue,
When I say goodbye at the end.
I will say it here
Here I say goodbye to my family
I say my family
I say “goodbye”
In the lonely month of June I say it here
The bad times as well as the good you have brought me through
But I must say goodbye, because I know it’s the end
And the tears will fall, pure and blue.
But let there be hope, for we do not melt with the tears of blue
As I look upon you all, my family
And I see the love, and no its not the final end
The end must begin with goodbye
In thick and thin we must still travel through
And it all starts today, here
I know goodbye is not what you want to hear
You do not want to be sad and blue
These hard times you do not want to go through
You do not want to leave your family
But that not what it is about: “goodbye”
It is about what happened in the beginning and what will happen, but not the end
When you lay helpless and dying in a land beyond ours, that is the end
But simply saying goodbye here?
It is just a effortless word “goodbye”
As simple as the word blue
No, we will stay together as a family
And this world we will go through
I say goodbye, but only to this stories end
Through many more stories we see, though maybe not here
There is no need to be blue, for we say not goodbye, for we are all family
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Monday, April 25, 2011
Final Project
Ben’jamin
Mr. H Salsich
English 9
25/4/11
Dear Reader,
What you are about to read is the outcome of two long and hard years of English Class. I had just over a month to work on this paper, so you can expect it to be perfect. This essay is about a topic that I actually feel very strongly about: the strength of spirit. I will not say anymore on that topic as to keep the discussion to my essay. This is however a multigenre essay, meaning that I will be writing in four different genres not including a standard eleven sentence paragraph. In this essay, I will discuss the strength of spirit throughout history including from William Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar and in A Tale of Two Cities. I will use examples displaying strength of spirit from leaders such as Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, and some others. I hope you enjoy this piece of work, for this is my last essay I will write at Pine Point after ten years. Thank you.
Sincerely
Ben’jamin Dameron
Strength of Spirit is the basis of all life. Everything we want to do, whether we do it or not, is determined by our strength of spirit. We have complete control of everything we do in life, and whether we want to do it or not. Then it is up to our will if we want to do it; this is our body, our mind, our life, we make the decisions. Some people do have more spirit than others. Not all minds are the same, and this is what makes us unique, and it is the mind that controls the will. As long as we are unique, we will differ in everyway, including our strength of spirit. If you are not making decisions, you are not living, and this is all based on our strength of spirit. If we are not making decisions, what are we doing, we are just auto pilot, not thinking, just registering, and responding without any thought process. As long as we are in some sort of contact withProxy-Connection: keep-alive
Cache-Control: max-age=0
he world, and we are ever thinking about what we are in contact with, we are using our will do make decisions, and then living the life.
You can lock me up,
Put me away,
Shut me up,
Or keep me at bay.
Treat me as a pup,
Treat me ill for a day
But I won’t stop
Put me behind walls
Call in the cop
Shoot me with balls
But my dreams you will not chop
For my strength is greater
Than any iron sword
And my will is straighter
Than any thick iron cord
So don’t try to slow me down
You’ll only hurt yourself
Make you look like a clown
You’ll look small as an elf
For my strength of spirit
Is wise and mighty
Don’t you hear it
It is the sound of the almighty
A Letter Home
Dear Mother,
My situation grows worse by the hour. I have no idea how I am going to be able to continue to cope with the magnitude of my condition. My vision is fogged and smudged like finger prints on eye glasses, and I am having an increasing problem seeing my way to the end. I no longer see the path I should take, I simply feel it. But do not worry about me, I am ok, for you can not see your strength of spirit, yet you know its there. I can not see the dark black road below my feet, or the yellow line that carves into the shadows of the future, yet I know it is there.
Mother, you must write back quickly because I know not what to do. I am not strong enough to face the villains, my fears, behind me, but I am strong enough to plunge into the dark pool of blackness in front of my eyes, yet, I do not know what will become of me if I continue to wade through the smog and muck of this challenge. I try to get help, from truck drivers going by, but they do not see me, they see only a coward, a small boy running from the dark. They do not know me, if they knew me, they would know I am running from the light, running from what I know, then only thing I know. The dark has promised me a new beginning, but know not whether I can trust the dark, for I know it has a tendency to lie, to lure you in with fake pledges, only to close his sharp jaws on your shoelace, and you can not escape, so you and your shoe are stuck forever. But I fear what I left more than I fear the dark, more than I fear being cold, and being hurt. I fear being alone more than being surrounded by creatures that want to hurt me. I need to know what to do. I can’t continue on like this, but I dare not turn my eyes. As I stare forward, I forget, and my troubles are not but stone statues, locked in the rays of the sun, but the second I turn, they become weeping angles, ready to snap my neck the moment I blink, yet I shall forget them the second I turn my back. I am scared to see their faces, the faces of my fears, but I know that if I keep walking into the unknown, I shall see them come out of the dark. Please mother please, tell me what to do, for I lack the will to make a decision. You have always been strong with spirit, and know what to do, so please, be my flame, and guide me through the dark.
Love
Your Son
Strength of spirit is all about our thoughts on what is morally correct. The spirit is what we believe to be morally correct, and the strength is how strongly we believe in it. Someone who has no moral beliefs has absolutely no strength of spirit. It is not an simple stream of endless strength that we choose to use or not, it is a complicated analysis on events and our thoughts on if those events are just and then how we react to the. However, there is only so much you can do with it. If you lock someone up, yes they can use their voice and communicate with those outside, but if someone is in complete isolation, with no way out, there is nothing they can do, and no amount of strength will break though. Yes it is nice to think rosy thoughts that good will always prevail, but if you are smart enough, and strong enough, and powerful enough, you could potentially silence a morally strong person. Strength of spirit is the basis of all emotion and all life, but it is not all powerful. We all have some sort of strength, but some amounts more than others. Strength of spirit has thousands of interpretations, and this is only mine, though this topic will be disputed for all of time, through all of space, till ever more.
Mr. H Salsich
English 9
25/4/11
Dear Reader,
What you are about to read is the outcome of two long and hard years of English Class. I had just over a month to work on this paper, so you can expect it to be perfect. This essay is about a topic that I actually feel very strongly about: the strength of spirit. I will not say anymore on that topic as to keep the discussion to my essay. This is however a multigenre essay, meaning that I will be writing in four different genres not including a standard eleven sentence paragraph. In this essay, I will discuss the strength of spirit throughout history including from William Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar and in A Tale of Two Cities. I will use examples displaying strength of spirit from leaders such as Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, and some others. I hope you enjoy this piece of work, for this is my last essay I will write at Pine Point after ten years. Thank you.
Sincerely
Ben’jamin Dameron
Strength of Spirit is the basis of all life. Everything we want to do, whether we do it or not, is determined by our strength of spirit. We have complete control of everything we do in life, and whether we want to do it or not. Then it is up to our will if we want to do it; this is our body, our mind, our life, we make the decisions. Some people do have more spirit than others. Not all minds are the same, and this is what makes us unique, and it is the mind that controls the will. As long as we are unique, we will differ in everyway, including our strength of spirit. If you are not making decisions, you are not living, and this is all based on our strength of spirit. If we are not making decisions, what are we doing, we are just auto pilot, not thinking, just registering, and responding without any thought process. As long as we are in some sort of contact withProxy-Connection: keep-alive
Cache-Control: max-age=0
he world, and we are ever thinking about what we are in contact with, we are using our will do make decisions, and then living the life.
You can lock me up,
Put me away,
Shut me up,
Or keep me at bay.
Treat me as a pup,
Treat me ill for a day
But I won’t stop
Put me behind walls
Call in the cop
Shoot me with balls
But my dreams you will not chop
For my strength is greater
Than any iron sword
And my will is straighter
Than any thick iron cord
So don’t try to slow me down
You’ll only hurt yourself
Make you look like a clown
You’ll look small as an elf
For my strength of spirit
Is wise and mighty
Don’t you hear it
It is the sound of the almighty
A Letter Home
Dear Mother,
My situation grows worse by the hour. I have no idea how I am going to be able to continue to cope with the magnitude of my condition. My vision is fogged and smudged like finger prints on eye glasses, and I am having an increasing problem seeing my way to the end. I no longer see the path I should take, I simply feel it. But do not worry about me, I am ok, for you can not see your strength of spirit, yet you know its there. I can not see the dark black road below my feet, or the yellow line that carves into the shadows of the future, yet I know it is there.
Mother, you must write back quickly because I know not what to do. I am not strong enough to face the villains, my fears, behind me, but I am strong enough to plunge into the dark pool of blackness in front of my eyes, yet, I do not know what will become of me if I continue to wade through the smog and muck of this challenge. I try to get help, from truck drivers going by, but they do not see me, they see only a coward, a small boy running from the dark. They do not know me, if they knew me, they would know I am running from the light, running from what I know, then only thing I know. The dark has promised me a new beginning, but know not whether I can trust the dark, for I know it has a tendency to lie, to lure you in with fake pledges, only to close his sharp jaws on your shoelace, and you can not escape, so you and your shoe are stuck forever. But I fear what I left more than I fear the dark, more than I fear being cold, and being hurt. I fear being alone more than being surrounded by creatures that want to hurt me. I need to know what to do. I can’t continue on like this, but I dare not turn my eyes. As I stare forward, I forget, and my troubles are not but stone statues, locked in the rays of the sun, but the second I turn, they become weeping angles, ready to snap my neck the moment I blink, yet I shall forget them the second I turn my back. I am scared to see their faces, the faces of my fears, but I know that if I keep walking into the unknown, I shall see them come out of the dark. Please mother please, tell me what to do, for I lack the will to make a decision. You have always been strong with spirit, and know what to do, so please, be my flame, and guide me through the dark.
Love
Your Son
Strength of spirit is all about our thoughts on what is morally correct. The spirit is what we believe to be morally correct, and the strength is how strongly we believe in it. Someone who has no moral beliefs has absolutely no strength of spirit. It is not an simple stream of endless strength that we choose to use or not, it is a complicated analysis on events and our thoughts on if those events are just and then how we react to the. However, there is only so much you can do with it. If you lock someone up, yes they can use their voice and communicate with those outside, but if someone is in complete isolation, with no way out, there is nothing they can do, and no amount of strength will break though. Yes it is nice to think rosy thoughts that good will always prevail, but if you are smart enough, and strong enough, and powerful enough, you could potentially silence a morally strong person. Strength of spirit is the basis of all emotion and all life, but it is not all powerful. We all have some sort of strength, but some amounts more than others. Strength of spirit has thousands of interpretations, and this is only mine, though this topic will be disputed for all of time, through all of space, till ever more.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Essay 19
Ben’jamin
Mr. H Salsich
English 9
19/4/11
The Potent:
An Essay on Strong Characters in Julius Caesar
In the world of reality, there are many different weaknesses and strengths someone can possess. Some people have more of these curses, both vigor and flaws, than others, for example, “[Mark Twain] has every human strength! and weakness.” (Albert Bigelow Paine, 89) However, most of us have our fair shares of strengths and weaknesses. William Shakespeare has a definite talent at making his fictional characters seem as if they were figures of reality by giving them very real strengths and weaknesses.
Shakespeare’s characters, fake and surreal, are quite real due to him giving them strengths as well as weaknesses. Brutus has a definite strength with wisdom, a rare characteristics among the obdurate Romans. Brutus’ endurance and patience is, in fact, what keeps the conspirators from being discovered from higher powers. He has also proved valuable in selecting trustworthy people to help in the assassination effort. However, not all Romans can be blessed with wisdom; for instance, Cassius mistakes what is his bravery and strength with his ego and stubbornness. He believes that he is one who has battled the gods and won when all he actually did was run through the storm. He rants on about how he saw the gods in this storm, but truly, he seemed more foolish than brave. However, I do not mean that the Romans were a bumbling crowd of idiotic vagabonds. Caesar is the bravest among the characters in Julius Caesar. He took absolute control of Rome in a trying time. He knew that there would be people would not like him for killing the former emperor, but he took power anyway, chancing the consequences. What really makes Julius Caesar such a great play, are the eccentricity of all of Shakespeare’s characters.
It’s the characters that make Shakespeare’s play. Caesar’s bold move to take control of the empire shows great courage by the Roman. Cassius has mistaken bravery with foolishness that has been hidden under his ego, and Brutus’ strength has really saved the conspirators from being discovered. We all have different strengths and weaknesses, for this is part of what makes us human.
Self Assessment
1. What is one strength in this essay?
I worked hard on my fast words and I think my vocabulary makes the essay
2. What is one weakness you see in this essay?
I don’t really see any weakness in this essay, I love the whole thing
3. What is one issue that you are continuing to work on?
I’m trying really hard to get the special effects in my writing, but I think I did that very well in this essay
4. A
Mr. H Salsich
English 9
19/4/11
The Potent:
An Essay on Strong Characters in Julius Caesar
In the world of reality, there are many different weaknesses and strengths someone can possess. Some people have more of these curses, both vigor and flaws, than others, for example, “[Mark Twain] has every human strength! and weakness.” (Albert Bigelow Paine, 89) However, most of us have our fair shares of strengths and weaknesses. William Shakespeare has a definite talent at making his fictional characters seem as if they were figures of reality by giving them very real strengths and weaknesses.
Shakespeare’s characters, fake and surreal, are quite real due to him giving them strengths as well as weaknesses. Brutus has a definite strength with wisdom, a rare characteristics among the obdurate Romans. Brutus’ endurance and patience is, in fact, what keeps the conspirators from being discovered from higher powers. He has also proved valuable in selecting trustworthy people to help in the assassination effort. However, not all Romans can be blessed with wisdom; for instance, Cassius mistakes what is his bravery and strength with his ego and stubbornness. He believes that he is one who has battled the gods and won when all he actually did was run through the storm. He rants on about how he saw the gods in this storm, but truly, he seemed more foolish than brave. However, I do not mean that the Romans were a bumbling crowd of idiotic vagabonds. Caesar is the bravest among the characters in Julius Caesar. He took absolute control of Rome in a trying time. He knew that there would be people would not like him for killing the former emperor, but he took power anyway, chancing the consequences. What really makes Julius Caesar such a great play, are the eccentricity of all of Shakespeare’s characters.
It’s the characters that make Shakespeare’s play. Caesar’s bold move to take control of the empire shows great courage by the Roman. Cassius has mistaken bravery with foolishness that has been hidden under his ego, and Brutus’ strength has really saved the conspirators from being discovered. We all have different strengths and weaknesses, for this is part of what makes us human.
Self Assessment
1. What is one strength in this essay?
I worked hard on my fast words and I think my vocabulary makes the essay
2. What is one weakness you see in this essay?
I don’t really see any weakness in this essay, I love the whole thing
3. What is one issue that you are continuing to work on?
I’m trying really hard to get the special effects in my writing, but I think I did that very well in this essay
4. A
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Essay 18
Ben’jamin
Mr. H Salsich
English 9
6/4/11
Essay 18 Outline
TS What might you call a master of a profession
CM Answer Question
CM Explain Fate as a profession
TH Once we are set free from our mothers arms, the eye of blame can only look upon one
person, you.
TS Once given to the world, we are masters (what of the time before)
SD Childhood fears
CM My fear of needles
CM My fear of being alone
SD Childhood strengths
CM Climbing
CM Acting
SD Families position in life
CM Money
CM Where we live
CS Are personality is out of control,
TS Once we are “free”, we are masters of fate
SD “Once we are free”=in charge of our lives
CM We are in charge of every choice we make
CM No one there to guide us up the stairs
SD Ever decision has an impact
CM Thousands of choices everyday
CM What I eat for breakfast could impact my day
SD We are masters of our fate for better or for worse
CM Our choices could lead us to success
CM Our choices could lead us to the bottom stages of the world
CS After a few short years of “training” we do become masters of our own fates
TS There comes a time, right after childhood, when the only person you can blame for
your mistakes is yourself
CM We have to take full advantage of the early stages of life
CM Once we leave home, we are on our own
CS The safety is off, we most climb alone
Crack of Luck
An Essay on how People are “Masters of our Fates”
“Why, man, doth he bestride the narrow world,
Like a colossus, and we petty men
Walk under his huge legs, peeping about
To find ourselves dishonorable graves.
Men at some time are masters of their fates.
The fault, dear Brutus, is not in the starts,
But in ourselves, that we are underlings.”
-Cassius in Julius Caesar-William Shakespeare
Act 1 Scene 2 Lines 142-148
The millions of decisions we make in one day, life changing or unnoticeable, affect the path that our life travels. That flow of decisions under our stone bridge will, once again, overflow with endless decisions, some good, some bad. The influences we come across every day affect who we are, but are not the deciding factor of our lives. Only our minds, for those of us who have found our voice, can be the master of our fates.
What might you call a master of a kingdom, a master of an academic subject, the master
of a business, the master of an army, or what might you call the master of ship, or the
master of a school, or even, what might you call the master of fate. The master of a
kingdom is a king, the master of a subject is a professor, the master of a business is
a CEO, the master of an army is a general, and you might call the master of a ship a
captain, and the master of a school the principle. All these are professions, and each of
those people can do their job to perfection, but none of them can do the others job, so
what might you call the master of Fate; humans. Once that we, humans, people, leave the safety of our mothers arms, we are at the mercy of the world, but we are in total control of our lives, whether we realize it or not.
We are free once we are given to the world, but what of the time before, because this is where we have little to no control. I have childhood fears that now impact my decisions now. When I was incredibly younger than I am now, I was, against my will, unwillingly dragged to a hospital where my brother had a mole removed, but that is not the whole story, because my mom was supposed to put cream on the mole so that they could remove it with out any pain. My mom put tape over the cream so it wouldn’t come off, but the doctor had to take off the bandage to get the mole, and when they did that my brother was in a lot of pain. There I was sitting in the corner of the operation room with my brother, needles all over his face, blood dripping down his neck, and his shrieking scream echoing off the corners of the world. Ever since this terrifying day in my life, I haven’t able to stand needles, and I don’t think I ever will. Although, our childhoods weigh us down with weaknesses, sometimes, they give us the edge with useful perks of experience. I did a lot of climbing and bouldering when I was really young, and now I have a climbing ability that exceeds most 15 year olds I know. As long as I can remember, I have been reciting commercials and movies day in and day out, and now in my later years, I have been told that I have a natural ability to act, something I am very proud of. Who your parents are to also has a huge impact (on your future). Naturally, if you are born to a multi-billionaire, you will do better than someone born into a family with no money. Where your family lives also effects your life a lot; you don’t decide where you live as a kid, and for me, living 26 miles away from school has definitely affected my life. For the first few years of our lives, we really have no control, we may end up with a childhood we don’t want, or we may be born into a great family and succeed in life.
In reality, once we are free, we are masters of our fates, whether we know it or not. Once we are free, we are in charge of our own lives and no one is telling us what we have to do. We are there to make every decision; we become the leaders of our lives, not the followers. Once we are free, there is no one there to hold our hand. Some people fail to grasp how much we are in control, and that every decision has an impact. What you eat for breakfast could effect how hungry you are, which could mean that you do go to your locker to get a snack, which means you weren’t in the classroom when the assignment was being explained. We really are masters of our fates, for better or for worse. One choice, just one, could completely ruin your life, or make it. Do you fall slave to peer pressure; do you take the AP course; every decision is a big one. After our “training” we become masters of our fates, though we never grasp how big a task that actually is.
There comes a time in our lives, generally right after childhood, when we become masters of our fates, when the only person you can blame for your mistakes is yourself, when there is no one standing behind you in the mirror. We must take full advantage of our childhoods and learn how to make the big and small decisions in life. Once we leave home, the smallest decision could change you forever. Once we leave hom’, the safety is off and we climb alon’. (soften “n” and “m” on home and alone to get a rhyme)
Self Assessment
1. One Strength I see in this writing?
I really like my opening paragraph! I think it draws in the reader but doesn’t give away any of what is too come. I also think I picked my thesis well for it gave me a lot to work with but I could still be very specific.
2. Once weakness in this essay?
I feel like I tried to cram a lot of information in a very small amount of space. This makes it really kind of choppy writing, but, I tried the best I could to make it as clear as possible.
3. Once thing I’m continuing to work on?
Getting to a point where special effects help me. My style of writing is almost sarcastic, more like how I talk than how anyone might write. This means that most special effects actually hurt my writing, so getting them to fit in well is a challenge for me.
4. I worked really hard on this essay and see no reason in my writing in why I shouldn’t get a solid B.
Mr. H Salsich
English 9
6/4/11
Essay 18 Outline
TS What might you call a master of a profession
CM Answer Question
CM Explain Fate as a profession
TH Once we are set free from our mothers arms, the eye of blame can only look upon one
person, you.
TS Once given to the world, we are masters (what of the time before)
SD Childhood fears
CM My fear of needles
CM My fear of being alone
SD Childhood strengths
CM Climbing
CM Acting
SD Families position in life
CM Money
CM Where we live
CS Are personality is out of control,
TS Once we are “free”, we are masters of fate
SD “Once we are free”=in charge of our lives
CM We are in charge of every choice we make
CM No one there to guide us up the stairs
SD Ever decision has an impact
CM Thousands of choices everyday
CM What I eat for breakfast could impact my day
SD We are masters of our fate for better or for worse
CM Our choices could lead us to success
CM Our choices could lead us to the bottom stages of the world
CS After a few short years of “training” we do become masters of our own fates
TS There comes a time, right after childhood, when the only person you can blame for
your mistakes is yourself
CM We have to take full advantage of the early stages of life
CM Once we leave home, we are on our own
CS The safety is off, we most climb alone
Crack of Luck
An Essay on how People are “Masters of our Fates”
“Why, man, doth he bestride the narrow world,
Like a colossus, and we petty men
Walk under his huge legs, peeping about
To find ourselves dishonorable graves.
Men at some time are masters of their fates.
The fault, dear Brutus, is not in the starts,
But in ourselves, that we are underlings.”
-Cassius in Julius Caesar-William Shakespeare
Act 1 Scene 2 Lines 142-148
The millions of decisions we make in one day, life changing or unnoticeable, affect the path that our life travels. That flow of decisions under our stone bridge will, once again, overflow with endless decisions, some good, some bad. The influences we come across every day affect who we are, but are not the deciding factor of our lives. Only our minds, for those of us who have found our voice, can be the master of our fates.
What might you call a master of a kingdom, a master of an academic subject, the master
of a business, the master of an army, or what might you call the master of ship, or the
master of a school, or even, what might you call the master of fate. The master of a
kingdom is a king, the master of a subject is a professor, the master of a business is
a CEO, the master of an army is a general, and you might call the master of a ship a
captain, and the master of a school the principle. All these are professions, and each of
those people can do their job to perfection, but none of them can do the others job, so
what might you call the master of Fate; humans. Once that we, humans, people, leave the safety of our mothers arms, we are at the mercy of the world, but we are in total control of our lives, whether we realize it or not.
We are free once we are given to the world, but what of the time before, because this is where we have little to no control. I have childhood fears that now impact my decisions now. When I was incredibly younger than I am now, I was, against my will, unwillingly dragged to a hospital where my brother had a mole removed, but that is not the whole story, because my mom was supposed to put cream on the mole so that they could remove it with out any pain. My mom put tape over the cream so it wouldn’t come off, but the doctor had to take off the bandage to get the mole, and when they did that my brother was in a lot of pain. There I was sitting in the corner of the operation room with my brother, needles all over his face, blood dripping down his neck, and his shrieking scream echoing off the corners of the world. Ever since this terrifying day in my life, I haven’t able to stand needles, and I don’t think I ever will. Although, our childhoods weigh us down with weaknesses, sometimes, they give us the edge with useful perks of experience. I did a lot of climbing and bouldering when I was really young, and now I have a climbing ability that exceeds most 15 year olds I know. As long as I can remember, I have been reciting commercials and movies day in and day out, and now in my later years, I have been told that I have a natural ability to act, something I am very proud of. Who your parents are to also has a huge impact (on your future). Naturally, if you are born to a multi-billionaire, you will do better than someone born into a family with no money. Where your family lives also effects your life a lot; you don’t decide where you live as a kid, and for me, living 26 miles away from school has definitely affected my life. For the first few years of our lives, we really have no control, we may end up with a childhood we don’t want, or we may be born into a great family and succeed in life.
In reality, once we are free, we are masters of our fates, whether we know it or not. Once we are free, we are in charge of our own lives and no one is telling us what we have to do. We are there to make every decision; we become the leaders of our lives, not the followers. Once we are free, there is no one there to hold our hand. Some people fail to grasp how much we are in control, and that every decision has an impact. What you eat for breakfast could effect how hungry you are, which could mean that you do go to your locker to get a snack, which means you weren’t in the classroom when the assignment was being explained. We really are masters of our fates, for better or for worse. One choice, just one, could completely ruin your life, or make it. Do you fall slave to peer pressure; do you take the AP course; every decision is a big one. After our “training” we become masters of our fates, though we never grasp how big a task that actually is.
There comes a time in our lives, generally right after childhood, when we become masters of our fates, when the only person you can blame for your mistakes is yourself, when there is no one standing behind you in the mirror. We must take full advantage of our childhoods and learn how to make the big and small decisions in life. Once we leave home, the smallest decision could change you forever. Once we leave hom’, the safety is off and we climb alon’. (soften “n” and “m” on home and alone to get a rhyme)
Self Assessment
1. One Strength I see in this writing?
I really like my opening paragraph! I think it draws in the reader but doesn’t give away any of what is too come. I also think I picked my thesis well for it gave me a lot to work with but I could still be very specific.
2. Once weakness in this essay?
I feel like I tried to cram a lot of information in a very small amount of space. This makes it really kind of choppy writing, but, I tried the best I could to make it as clear as possible.
3. Once thing I’m continuing to work on?
Getting to a point where special effects help me. My style of writing is almost sarcastic, more like how I talk than how anyone might write. This means that most special effects actually hurt my writing, so getting them to fit in well is a challenge for me.
4. I worked really hard on this essay and see no reason in my writing in why I shouldn’t get a solid B.
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