Ben’jamin
Mr. H Salsich
English 9
30/11/10
Essay 9 Graphic Organizer
Main Point: Carton is a fighter
Bell word: brave
Thesis: Carton does not give up
TS: Sick people fight
CM: No one says “good job”
CM: Same with Carton
TH: Carton fights against all odds
TS: Carton is brave
SD: He keeps fighting
CM: Much abuse
CM: He still works
SD: Lucy cares little for him
CM: She is nice to him
CM: She deceives him; he knows
SD: He puts himself down
CM: He drinks
CM: He is depressed
CS: He takes a lot of abuse; he does not stop
TS: It is all in his head
SD: He needs to think highly of himself
CM: He has no self confidence
CM: He could be a better person
SD: Darnay is a cruel person
CM: Carton looks up to him
CM: Darnay is a bad influence
SD: He needs to accept his life
CM: He is where he is
CM: He needs to just suck it up
CS: Carton could be a bolder character
Ben’jamin
Mr. H Salsich
English 9
5/12/2010
According to the Webster’s II New Riverside Dictionary, the definition of brave is, “Having or displaying courage; to face or endure courageously. When a chair sits old, and dilapidated and dusty, or decrepit and done for, waiting for the mold to take you, in some dark, echoing corner, no one turns to it and says, “Good job chair! You have done a great job.” Sydney Carton describes himself as an “old […] piece of furniture.” However, Carton is brave by enduring the lack of encouragement as he soldiers on with supporting the world on his drunken shoulders.
Carton could be considered one of the bravest characters in the book A Tail of Two Cities for he has to go through a lot everyday. Ever since he was first introduced, he was abused and frowned a pone by all other characters. Even with all this maltreatment, Carton continues to live through the book; Not committing suicide, he keeps his job and lives to fight another day. On top of all this misfortune, the one person who he loves cares little for him. Lucie Manette, the golden haired doll, the jewel of the book, is nice to Carton though only through the kindness of her pure soul, not the affection of her heart. She has cleverly deceived him though it seems like Carton knows this, and this only makes him only more depressed. When it looks like things could not get any worse for Sydney Carton, they do, for not only does everyone he knows put him down, but he puts himself down too. Sydney Carton is a heavy drinker and we know that drinking actually has a negative effect on you mood and your wallet. He also puts himself down a lot by not thinking little of himself; he believes everything bad people say about him causing his self confidence to plummet as if dropped from the top of a mountain where it can soar free until it crashes dramatically into the sea.
Carton may be valiant, but he does have a definite problem; however, there are some ways that he could solve this problem. Carton really needs to start thinking highly of himself. He has no self confidence which is denying himself from getting off the ground. He could also be a better person; he needs to stop standing against the wall and get into the conversation. Darnay is a cruel person, and he is especially cruel to Carton. Darnay is a terrible influence on Carton. Carton really needs just to accept life as it is and move on. He needs to accept who he is and see how far he can take himself into the world. If he just sucked up what has happened to him in the past few years and moved on, he could be a lot bolder. For Carton to “fix” his life, he really needs to get some self confidence, find some real friends and move on to the next page.
Sydney Carton may be a weak person, but he continues to live, and will all his problems, could make him one of the braver characters in A Tale of Two Cities. He sees very little affection from anyone. The only thing he really has seen his whole life are unmovable obstacles placed by his piers. It was hinted not long after Cartons introduction, that he might not want to continue on living, but some years have passed and he continues to fight life.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Essay 8
Ben’jamin
Mr. H Salsich
English 9
16/11/10
Essay 8 Outline
TS: What we do does matter
Bell word: minute
Hook: Space is huge
Comment: We don’t even know what is there
Comment: Earth is small
Thesis: Very small but we still make a difference
Topic Sentence: Dickens is wrong
Echo: microscopic, miniscule
SD: People are complex
Comment: We are bigger and more important
Comment: We do not have “mere human knowledge”
SD: We are here and we matter
Comment: We need to take care of ourselves
Comment: There might not be other people out there
Conclusion: We ourselves are what is here, we are most important
Topic Sentence: We can’t listen to Dickens here
Echo: infinitesimal, insignificant
SD: We need to think we are important
Comment: We can’t always clean up for everyone else
Comment: As a world, we need to know Earth is important
SD: We can’t top everything
Comment: Compete w/ something that might not be out there
Comment: Human nature
Conclusion: Dickens is wise, but he might be wrong here
Ben’jamin Dameron
Mr. H Salsich
English 9
18/11/10
A Small People, a Big Universe:
An Essay about People and Space
All of space and time and all of existence for ever past and into the future of tomorrow are huge. It is so big and goes back so far and will continue for so long, that we have no clue on what is really out there. Compared to the vastness of space and time, we humans in our little corner room, in our little time, are emotively minute (FAST words(Bell word)). However, Earth is so small and space and time so big, that we should care little about them; we should care about what is happening here, and here is what matters.
I believe that in chapter 16, Dickens says that we, humans, in all of our brilliance, are microscopic in comparison to all of space and time, and Dickens may be very wrong (appositive). Dickens states that we have only, “mere human knowledge” but are minds have expanded that far from our humble beginning that only a heartless man could say they were mere. We are big; we are huge, and we disserve more than to be a worthless pile of life on a mound of dirt and water. Dickens implies that there is a greater being out there somewhere, being religious, or alien, but no matter what it is, we no more about it than in Dickens time and there is no evidence to support there being something there; we are here, and we are what matter. Instead of researching or bowing our heads to something that might not be real, we as a race should focus on “split[ting that one] ray of light” instead of dreaming of that maybe person that can split our planet. There might not be anything out there, but we know we are there, so why worry our little noggins about being so miniscule(FAST echo). We do not know if something is really out there, so we may hide our stony faces if we want, but we should not fantasize over something that might not be real.
If my theory about Dickens’s passage is correct, we as a human race cannot listen to him. Our infinitesimal little race is not doing very well. We are abating the planet and doing very little about it. If the humans are not doing well, we should not be putting ourselves down with books that say that we have, “mere human intelligence”. It also might not be wise there are extra terrestrial beings somewhere out there in space and time, making us even more insignificant, a useless luxury to galaxy, as a diamond is to a watch, for the watch does not need the diamond to function, and it does not make it work any better, but, people need to feel important, like the spring in the watch that is necessary for the constant ticking and tocking. Something very enthralling about humans is that we always have to be best. If there is something out there better than us, humans will not resist from trying to top it. It may be unwise to put ourselves down, or try to top aliens out in space, so we really must believe that Dickens’ passage is wrong.
One of Dickens’s pieces of writing in A Tale of Two Cities could be interpreted as saying that there is a much greater being than humans and that we are small compared to them. It could seem like he is saying that it does not matter what our name was or how long our name lives in songs and stories, because we are nothing compared to the vastness of space and time. With all the problems in the world, we really need to be encouraging ourselves so it might be unwise to listen to Dickens. However, no matter how big the edges of space and time go out into the dark unknown, we need to know that our walls and cities can stretch to the edges of our planet and all that we know.
Self Assessment
1. One problem that I am continuing to work on in my writing is my opening and closing paragraphs. I really just have a hard time getting all my ideas into a small paragraph. Often I end up with long confusing sentences that really could be a lot smoother.
2. My greatest strong point in this piece of writing I believe is my cumulative sentence in my second body paragraph. I believe that it is a great piece of writing that really enhances the paragraph.
3. The one big weakpoint in this essay has got to be my second body paragraph. I don’t feel like I got all my ideas down strongly enough. This makes the paragraph hard to read and it bounces around ideas a lot.
4. I believe that there are strong parts and weak parts in this essay and I would be quite pleased with a B-.
Mr. H Salsich
English 9
16/11/10
Essay 8 Outline
TS: What we do does matter
Bell word: minute
Hook: Space is huge
Comment: We don’t even know what is there
Comment: Earth is small
Thesis: Very small but we still make a difference
Topic Sentence: Dickens is wrong
Echo: microscopic, miniscule
SD: People are complex
Comment: We are bigger and more important
Comment: We do not have “mere human knowledge”
SD: We are here and we matter
Comment: We need to take care of ourselves
Comment: There might not be other people out there
Conclusion: We ourselves are what is here, we are most important
Topic Sentence: We can’t listen to Dickens here
Echo: infinitesimal, insignificant
SD: We need to think we are important
Comment: We can’t always clean up for everyone else
Comment: As a world, we need to know Earth is important
SD: We can’t top everything
Comment: Compete w/ something that might not be out there
Comment: Human nature
Conclusion: Dickens is wise, but he might be wrong here
Ben’jamin Dameron
Mr. H Salsich
English 9
18/11/10
A Small People, a Big Universe:
An Essay about People and Space
All of space and time and all of existence for ever past and into the future of tomorrow are huge. It is so big and goes back so far and will continue for so long, that we have no clue on what is really out there. Compared to the vastness of space and time, we humans in our little corner room, in our little time, are emotively minute (FAST words(Bell word)). However, Earth is so small and space and time so big, that we should care little about them; we should care about what is happening here, and here is what matters.
I believe that in chapter 16, Dickens says that we, humans, in all of our brilliance, are microscopic in comparison to all of space and time, and Dickens may be very wrong (appositive). Dickens states that we have only, “mere human knowledge” but are minds have expanded that far from our humble beginning that only a heartless man could say they were mere. We are big; we are huge, and we disserve more than to be a worthless pile of life on a mound of dirt and water. Dickens implies that there is a greater being out there somewhere, being religious, or alien, but no matter what it is, we no more about it than in Dickens time and there is no evidence to support there being something there; we are here, and we are what matter. Instead of researching or bowing our heads to something that might not be real, we as a race should focus on “split[ting that one] ray of light” instead of dreaming of that maybe person that can split our planet. There might not be anything out there, but we know we are there, so why worry our little noggins about being so miniscule(FAST echo). We do not know if something is really out there, so we may hide our stony faces if we want, but we should not fantasize over something that might not be real.
If my theory about Dickens’s passage is correct, we as a human race cannot listen to him. Our infinitesimal little race is not doing very well. We are abating the planet and doing very little about it. If the humans are not doing well, we should not be putting ourselves down with books that say that we have, “mere human intelligence”. It also might not be wise there are extra terrestrial beings somewhere out there in space and time, making us even more insignificant, a useless luxury to galaxy, as a diamond is to a watch, for the watch does not need the diamond to function, and it does not make it work any better, but, people need to feel important, like the spring in the watch that is necessary for the constant ticking and tocking. Something very enthralling about humans is that we always have to be best. If there is something out there better than us, humans will not resist from trying to top it. It may be unwise to put ourselves down, or try to top aliens out in space, so we really must believe that Dickens’ passage is wrong.
One of Dickens’s pieces of writing in A Tale of Two Cities could be interpreted as saying that there is a much greater being than humans and that we are small compared to them. It could seem like he is saying that it does not matter what our name was or how long our name lives in songs and stories, because we are nothing compared to the vastness of space and time. With all the problems in the world, we really need to be encouraging ourselves so it might be unwise to listen to Dickens. However, no matter how big the edges of space and time go out into the dark unknown, we need to know that our walls and cities can stretch to the edges of our planet and all that we know.
Self Assessment
1. One problem that I am continuing to work on in my writing is my opening and closing paragraphs. I really just have a hard time getting all my ideas into a small paragraph. Often I end up with long confusing sentences that really could be a lot smoother.
2. My greatest strong point in this piece of writing I believe is my cumulative sentence in my second body paragraph. I believe that it is a great piece of writing that really enhances the paragraph.
3. The one big weakpoint in this essay has got to be my second body paragraph. I don’t feel like I got all my ideas down strongly enough. This makes the paragraph hard to read and it bounces around ideas a lot.
4. I believe that there are strong parts and weak parts in this essay and I would be quite pleased with a B-.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Essay 7
Ben’jamin
Mr. H Salsich
English 9
2/11/10
Graphic Organizer for Essay 7
(I would like to try to have all 600 words in one sentence)
Main Idea: Finding Peace in Pain
Mr. Carton is a peaceful person
He has few problems
He does not worry about anything
He is a miserable person
He is happier than Stryver
Women in the wheelchair has pain
In this pain she finds peace
I find peace in things that are difficult
Hiking
Climbing
Soccer
54 words per idea
Ben’jamin
Mr. H Salsich
Englis9
4/11/10
Peace in Pain:
An Essay on Finding Peace through Ones Pain
People, in all of our stubbornness, and our need for more than what we actually do need, our hate of all people, places, perceptions, others proficiency, progress, and pronunciation, and our selfishness, and wastefulness, and frailness, and our incredible ability to make the same mistake continuously, along with our constant find to need to go to war, and our weak emotions, our need for comforting, our excitement in things that are not very exciting, which goes along with our impressive structures that we spend days and days and weeks and months and years and decades, and dynasties and ages and all of time making that have very little purpose at all or a purpose so small and insignificant, it dazzles the mind to think all the work had to go into it, and our desire for the best, and our suspicions of all lower than you, do have an incredible ability to be peace full, just as rain in its constant cycle through the cycle of water, being forced to the top of mountains, and then down the mountains, just to be pulled ever so hard back down the steep face, has an inconceivable way of pitter pattering just the right way on the shingled room, and the muddy puddle, and the hard granite surface, to sooth the chaotic mind of all around it and give everyone an opportunity to be calm, and collective; Mr. Carton is a depressed character in A Tale of Two Cities, always being put down by his pier, Mr. Styver, losing everything he tries to do, always getting no credit for his hard work, and always finding very little meaning in his life, but he could be considered one of the more peaceful characters in the book, and this is possible if you look at him as a man who has given up, and no longer cares about the troubles of life, or what people think of him, for he simply chugs along in his little human shell, where some might believe it says “Made in England” over a compartment where the machine holds the triple AAA batteries, doing what he must, and nothing else, and this could be considered very peaceful, like a troubled, yet still, flower, in a stampede of running deer, cantering, never faltering, toward the lone flower . (Long Sentence (365)) (Subordinating cumulative sentence)
Just like Mr. Carton is sort of a peaceful person, the women from A Rainy Morning is a very peaceful person, a women who has few worries even though she is disabled (appositive phrase). If you are a stubborn person, a pessimist, or an evil dictator, you might find it impossible to be peaceful and even harder for this woman, who is worse off than some of us, to be peaceful. If you think that, than I have the honor of telling you that you are wrong in almost every peaceful way. This woman does not care. She is wise and has found peace through her state.
The wisest people in the world have made an incredible discovery, a discovery that could change humans forever, a discovery that makes the wheel, and sliced bread look like a simple addition problem. The wisest people of the world have made the discovery that the world is not here to help. In our life times people will try to put us down, because there are bad people out there. Not all of the world is out there to be our giant teddy bear. There are really four ways to look at this from this point. One way is the easiest and evilest way and that is to join these doers of harm. The second is that hardest but noblest; to stand up and fight, to try to stop the evils of the world and give peace to others before yourself. The third way is for the weak and emotionally unstable people like Mr. Carton. Give up. Mr. Carton is peaceful because he does not care but he gains nothing and others don’t either. The last way is almost as difficult as the second. Rise up above the crowd, stand alone, and hold your chin high; let everyone see nothing but the shadow of your nose. Be the bigger person and simply be peaceful even though there might be none, just like the women in the poem.
---------------------
Self Assessment
1. One problem I am continuing to catch all of my mistakes the first time. I use long sentences a lot and sometimes they are not always correct.
2. I believe that my strong point in this essay is my use of long sentences and short sentences. I start with a very long sentence and then in my second paragraph, I use several short sentences.
3. My weak point in this essay is my long sentences in the paragraph. After using one really long sentence, you can't really get the effect with the shorter long sentences.
4. I worked very hard on this essay and feel it is one of my best and would give myself a higher grade than usual.
Mr. H Salsich
English 9
2/11/10
Graphic Organizer for Essay 7
(I would like to try to have all 600 words in one sentence)
Main Idea: Finding Peace in Pain
Mr. Carton is a peaceful person
He has few problems
He does not worry about anything
He is a miserable person
He is happier than Stryver
Women in the wheelchair has pain
In this pain she finds peace
I find peace in things that are difficult
Hiking
Climbing
Soccer
54 words per idea
Ben’jamin
Mr. H Salsich
Englis9
4/11/10
Peace in Pain:
An Essay on Finding Peace through Ones Pain
People, in all of our stubbornness, and our need for more than what we actually do need, our hate of all people, places, perceptions, others proficiency, progress, and pronunciation, and our selfishness, and wastefulness, and frailness, and our incredible ability to make the same mistake continuously, along with our constant find to need to go to war, and our weak emotions, our need for comforting, our excitement in things that are not very exciting, which goes along with our impressive structures that we spend days and days and weeks and months and years and decades, and dynasties and ages and all of time making that have very little purpose at all or a purpose so small and insignificant, it dazzles the mind to think all the work had to go into it, and our desire for the best, and our suspicions of all lower than you, do have an incredible ability to be peace full, just as rain in its constant cycle through the cycle of water, being forced to the top of mountains, and then down the mountains, just to be pulled ever so hard back down the steep face, has an inconceivable way of pitter pattering just the right way on the shingled room, and the muddy puddle, and the hard granite surface, to sooth the chaotic mind of all around it and give everyone an opportunity to be calm, and collective; Mr. Carton is a depressed character in A Tale of Two Cities, always being put down by his pier, Mr. Styver, losing everything he tries to do, always getting no credit for his hard work, and always finding very little meaning in his life, but he could be considered one of the more peaceful characters in the book, and this is possible if you look at him as a man who has given up, and no longer cares about the troubles of life, or what people think of him, for he simply chugs along in his little human shell, where some might believe it says “Made in England” over a compartment where the machine holds the triple AAA batteries, doing what he must, and nothing else, and this could be considered very peaceful, like a troubled, yet still, flower, in a stampede of running deer, cantering, never faltering, toward the lone flower . (Long Sentence (365)) (Subordinating cumulative sentence)
Just like Mr. Carton is sort of a peaceful person, the women from A Rainy Morning is a very peaceful person, a women who has few worries even though she is disabled (appositive phrase). If you are a stubborn person, a pessimist, or an evil dictator, you might find it impossible to be peaceful and even harder for this woman, who is worse off than some of us, to be peaceful. If you think that, than I have the honor of telling you that you are wrong in almost every peaceful way. This woman does not care. She is wise and has found peace through her state.
The wisest people in the world have made an incredible discovery, a discovery that could change humans forever, a discovery that makes the wheel, and sliced bread look like a simple addition problem. The wisest people of the world have made the discovery that the world is not here to help. In our life times people will try to put us down, because there are bad people out there. Not all of the world is out there to be our giant teddy bear. There are really four ways to look at this from this point. One way is the easiest and evilest way and that is to join these doers of harm. The second is that hardest but noblest; to stand up and fight, to try to stop the evils of the world and give peace to others before yourself. The third way is for the weak and emotionally unstable people like Mr. Carton. Give up. Mr. Carton is peaceful because he does not care but he gains nothing and others don’t either. The last way is almost as difficult as the second. Rise up above the crowd, stand alone, and hold your chin high; let everyone see nothing but the shadow of your nose. Be the bigger person and simply be peaceful even though there might be none, just like the women in the poem.
---------------------
Self Assessment
1. One problem I am continuing to catch all of my mistakes the first time. I use long sentences a lot and sometimes they are not always correct.
2. I believe that my strong point in this essay is my use of long sentences and short sentences. I start with a very long sentence and then in my second paragraph, I use several short sentences.
3. My weak point in this essay is my long sentences in the paragraph. After using one really long sentence, you can't really get the effect with the shorter long sentences.
4. I worked very hard on this essay and feel it is one of my best and would give myself a higher grade than usual.
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